If you catch your child in a lie - do not rush to punish, to instruct and moralize. The goal lies - to conceal the truth.
wise parents it is important not just to raise an obedient man, but also to keep the love, trust and warmth in the relationship with the child. Therefore it is necessary to understand why the child is lying, and find a solution that will strengthen the relationship, rather than exacerbate the confrontation and mistrust. Kolobok. UA with a psychologist, an expert "Stosuєtsya skin" (channel "Inter") and YouTube-blogger lily King considered the main reasons why a child tells a lie.
1) He is afraid that he would be punished for telling the truth. This means that none of the parents, he does not trust. Why is that? parents go too often to the punishment, advice and care. If you are very strict, intrusive, authoritarian with a child - it will be protected and closed.
Psychologist Lily King
2) must meet the expectations of parents. When a child is accepted only if it corresponds to the expectations, he feels obliged to comply - to act as parents want, not the way he wants. Why would parents explain, if they do not want to understand, argue, persuade? It is much easier to tell lies to them, saying that they want to hear.
3) The kid can not say "no" to protect its borders. After all, as soon as he reveals his true thoughts, intentions - parents immediately take him to teach, to dissuade, advise - to push their "correct" view, because they "know better." Therefore, in order to avoid oppression by older - it is better to lie to them, take the attack and quietly do their own way.
4) Take the example of the parents. Children will be able to observe and absorb what they see. And if they see parents lie to each other, their parents, friends and himself - the child receives an example of the behavior, the legalization of lies as a possible and acceptable norm in the relationship.
The child often takes the example of the parents / pixabay.com
5) He wants to assert itself, raise self-esteem. If a child is exaggerating, embellish their skills, talents, opportunities and facts - this means that the self-esteem in a child is low and there is a need for recognition, praise. Perhaps you are not praising your child, do not show respect for him.
6) The child joined the relevant social group. Bad company appears in the lonely children and adolescents. If the parents are not the authorities who do not respect the child and respected their loved ones, friends, if they are authoritarian - their place will come the same age or older friends. To earn respect in a get-together to be "at." The desire to "be at the level of" being cool, often pushes the teen to lie, exaggeration, "show-off" and fiction tales.
7) Dream out loud (everyone loves me, I am the most beautiful, mom buy me everything I wish). By this strange way of psychological protection are often used by children from disadvantaged families: alcoholics, drug addicts, cool parents. They lie not only different, they are lying themselves, because the truth is too painful.
Teenager is sometimes difficult to distinguish the good from the bad / pixabay.com
Only by understanding the causes of behavior - you can change it. Children are trying to adapt to the environment and relationships in which they are located. They lie only at first glance looks like malice, harmful and moodiness. If you understand the reasons for such behavior, if they themselves work on yourself and on your relationship with your child, then it can become a mainstay. The child will feel close to you security and stop hiding the truth from you.
You will also be interested to read about how to raise the habit of a child to a healthy lifestyle.
