5 ways to overcome shyness and become more confident

Can I do something to help themselves liberated and loosen up? Embarrassment, uncertainty, stress, fear, anxiety can become a problem. Alas, modesty is often not decorate, and tames the man - prevent him to show their best qualities and makes sit sullenly in a corner.

Why there is shyness

Shyness is often confused with introversion, but it's not the same thing. In an introvert can be excellent social skills, but loneliness is charging it with energy, so it dispenses communication. Shy people can and would like to visit more often in public, but it interferes with self-doubt and fear of negative evaluation, "And if I lyapnu that something wrong and everyone will laugh at me?"

First, let's understand the situations that cause an attack of shyness. Someone, for example, is fluent with strangers face to face, but stiffens when it turns into a big company. Make a list of these triggers and try to rank them - from light up formidable obstacles. Start small and then work your way to higher heights.

Take into service 2 main principles: the preparation and exposure. If you know your weaknesses, you can prepare for the challenges it will give a sense of control over the situation, it helps to overcome fear. And to cope with them can only be met "enemy" face to face, deliberately putting yourself in uncomfortable conditions and acquiring a positive experience, it is the exposure.

Fear of communication with strangers

Training. It does not always something to learn in advance about the person who will be in contact, but if this is possible, you should use it. For example, the chief instructs you to meet and support of colleagues from non-resident company office. At least you will be able to learn their names, place of residence, position, approximate age - and this information will give you a lot of reasons for small talk.

Exposition. You will help slow the conversation, listening skills and the ability to find something in common with any interlocutor. These skills are best developed in practice. Shy people are often silent, because they believe that they will not turn to say something clever or interesting. But at the first meeting, no one expects you to philosophical reflections on the meaning of life.

The goal is not to show off wit, and to establish contact. Any conversation can be divided into four stages: 1 - initial replica (fit standard topikstarter kind comments about the weather, traffic jams and other short-term themes); 2 - performance; 3 - find points of contact with the interlocutor; 4 - goodbye, secular courtesy.

5 ways to overcome shyness and become more confident / pixabay.com

Fear of large companies

Training. Party, corporate, conference, training to improve the skills - but you never know when there is little else you will find yourself among the crowd. Try to enlist the support of a friend / colleague who either already been among the same people, or more confident. You can openly admit: "I do not know anyone here, introduced me to someone?" It will be useful to check out the news feed to have something to talk about. If all around discussing who was killed in the finale of the acclaimed TV series, and you're about it, neither hearing nor the spirit, you will feel uncomfortable.

Exposition. Sometimes it is useful to come early before meeting it was too crowded and noisy. It is easier to calm your nerves, to observe and courage. Many used as a shield mobile phone, pretending that they do not just sit on the couch alone, and are responsible for a very important message. But since you risk the whole evening to sit alone, so remove the gadgets away. Think of communication as a tennis match, when your task - to fight off the supply of the interlocutor and to send the ball in his half of the field. Therefore, try to keep in your phrases are clues for the development of the conversation.

If the answer to the question "How are you?" just say: "Everything is wonderful", the conversation on this may stall. Another thing, if you say: "Everything is wonderful! Yesterday, my friends and I went to Tarantino / Gergiev / lesson beading. It was surprisingly interesting "Excellent presentation - genuine (this is important!) Compliment:" What you a nice tan! You recently returned from a vacation? "

Fear of talking on the phone

Training. Most often, we have to call to find out some information or something to negotiate. The employees of call centers always have a clear plan for the conversation - use their experience. Fully write on paper the introductory phrase: "Hello, my name is the NN, I would like to know / suggest / agree ..." Next sketch out a few items that you are going to discuss, or in a fit of excitement risk missing something important. For example, you need to call to the agency that helps visas, while in terms of the items appear: necessary documents to photos requirements, costs, deadlines, agency address, when it is best approach.

Exposition. Glory to the Internet - nearly all the required information, we can now get online: on the schedule of the visa center to discounts on green peas at the supermarket. However, take it a rule to call and find out information on the phone, instead of combing the internet. Consciously monitor your voice and rate of speech. Telephone service is not always perfect, so do not chatter, and say not a quick and clear.

5 ways to overcome shyness and become more confident / istockphoto.com

The fear of speaking in front of a large audience

Training. The event, which requires careful planning. If you are not an experienced speaker, there is little to make a rough outline of his speech. Need to write the whole thing and rehearse several times before a mirror or another patient. The better you prepare, the easier it will be to overcome the fear.

Exposition. Many famous actors and politicians admit in an interview that even after 20 years of performing, they are experiencing the excitement of the audience. And this is perfectly normal! Use the techniques in the arsenal of expert speakers.

• Relieve muscle tension helps small energetic walk - you can go down briskly for a couple of stories and then go back.
• Excellent working breathing exercises - counting breaths helps get rid of disturbing thoughts and deep breathing (inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth) - to cope with the voice. In the audience, choose a person you know well or whose face you feel friendly, and imagine that you are telling all to him.
• From time to time do not forget to run an eye over the rest of the audience, so that they feel involved.

Fear of communication with the opposite sex

Training. Nervous before the first date? Choose the most comfortable environment. Do not set a meeting in an unfamiliar restaurant. Better arrange to meet at your favorite cafe, where you feel comfortable and relaxed. Rather pompous dinner to opt for a daily lunch, so you are somewhat reduce the degree of stress.

Exposition. Of course, we are not afraid to please. We think that the price is high - and at stake is the least self-confidence and a bright future. In fact, useful to realize that if this particular man will not work, the world will not turn over, and the coach does not turn into a pumpkin. Try training exercises "100 failure". Your task - to collect them and to treat it as a game.

Start with the most simple - for example, ask a passer-by the way. He does not know where the street Builders? Well, that you want. Soon the word "no" will stop so much hurt, and gradually develop immunity to frustration and self-consciousness of someone else's failure.

Also you will be interested to read this: in you go on a first date, that it did not last