Jealousy - a multifaceted feeling. And sometimes, with the advent of the baby in the family, you may encounter the most bizarre of its views. For example, when a young mother is jealous crumbs to his father and other relatives
It would seem that the long-awaited and beloved child, every opinion which is impregnated care, admiration and affection - for this situation can only dream of! And most moms gets real pleasure watching the signs of attention, it sends cheeked daze. But sometimes in another way, when the mind understands the absurdity of the senses, and the senses, going out of control, overwhelmed with the heart of this jealousy.
Young mother may remain confused and ashamed about their own experiences, and can exhibit cold aggression and anger from what accounts all the time with someone "Share" attention baby.
If the mother is jealous of her child: what to do / istockphoto.com
Jealousy as a feeling of weakness
Have you ever thought about where all taken jealousy? This is a very interesting and very complicated feeling. On the one hand, and the feeling on the surface, we are jealous, feeling his firm the right to possess man. Whether it is a man, a woman, a friend, a colleague or a child. So the day before, our relationship has already managed to emerge a tight sense of intimacy, and we are by no means do not want to lose it.
And it turns out that we seem to be jealous, because strong and determined, but there is another side to the issue. It reveals the jealousy as deep self-doubt and fear to face the changes.
It is, in fact, is the true "jealous face." Drooping corners of her mouth, looking tense look and constant anxiety because of the potential for change.
Thus, it is time to recognize, people are jealous because of the weakness. The reasons that they find their own vulnerability, can be very different.
If the mother is jealous of her child: what to do / istockphoto.com
When a woman is jealous - it's hard when mom is jealous - it's scary
It would seem that the baby is busy, and that blissful time possible without remorse to spend on a manicure, a few pages of the book or chat with longtime girlfriend... What is the reason for such bad anxiety? - maybe mom is afraid that other people will not be able to properly keep track of your baby will not be able in time to change a diaper, offer vodichku or toy?
No, at the heart of this concern is a different story. Mom incredibly afraid of losing his personal contact with the child! Mom is afraid that the child will forget her games, songs, and even the face, preferring the more rare, but this and more vivid games with the grandmothers and aunts.
Jealous of the baby to the family, the woman is afraid to stay away from the life of her precious baby, losing the privilege of the first smile, the first word and the Center of the main senses.
If the mother is jealous of her child: what to do / istockphoto.com
Sinister alloy senses
It occurs because of deep inner dissatisfaction with life. If you look closely to those "revnivitsam", you will not find among them no one completely happy with the way her life events unfold.
- As a rule - it's a tired young mom tending to cost an extra hour of sleep to do everything "as it should be." She perfectly cares for the baby and develops it, swallows tons of literature and analyzing subtle selects all the most suitable her crumbs.
- She - a wonderful wife that monitors the arrows on trousers and shirt buttons on her husband.
- She probably knows furnace exceptional pancakes, raspberry compote cook, let alone the dust a long time - long forgotten the way to her house. Maybe she does mommy never felt keenly watching for an opportune time for feeding, cleaning and walking with a toddler.
- Of course, the woman feels at all possible interest necessary, and for that, intentionally or not, it demands the same impeccable attention as the fact that it gives the child and her husband.
Every mother and baby have their own character, and it so happens that their temperaments and other biological rhythms do not coincide. In short, the mother can be very difficult to cope even with the beloved child of her own. But it is, of course, continues to look for an approach to the child to try different styles of communication, consult with experts, and here ...
When in the immediate vicinity there is a sudden another adult who simply takes and communicates with the baby, without any there is consultation and, most surprisingly, it turns out it's wonderful, in the mother's heart creeps perplexity. It quickly turns into just jealous, "I mean, I do not sleep nights, and they come once a month, and the child seemed to have changed!".
But that's not all - there is another mechanism for the conversion of the mother in revnivitsu - is her own childhood trauma. I must say that in this case, the woman is required to pass the most difficult path and, in fact, does not deal with his jealousy baby and with his zeal to place a child who was once a long time - a long time, maybe not enough parental warmth and attention.
If the mother is jealous of her child: what to do / istockphoto.com
I'm not jealous of you, kid!
Either way, the emergence of feelings of jealousy baby to other close people requires the full attention of women to themselves and their lives. And the first thing to do - it's a bit to let "the reins" home life and comfort.
Believe me, the dust does not cover all the impenetrable layer in one evening, as the baby will be ready to do something already well known to him without a new toy or songs. Thus, my mother released some amount of time that you can devote yourself !!!
Even if it will be listening to your favorite music in another room. And maybe Mom will remember how long ago she wanted to master the technique of decoupage unpretentious will go editing numerous family photo archives ...
This also fits five-minute aerobics, jumping rope, yoga, going for a manicure or book pages for new experiences. So, among other things, many moms learn a new profession and gain a new hobby. And it is, as we know, creates a sense of life - here and now, filling the interest and meaning every day! Now, there is no sense to worry about the fact that we have to "stay at home". Women have personal space, related schedules and plans. Life returns to the color format!
works perfectly well talk "heart to heart" with her husband and family. For example, if you said, with them some important points in education and playing with the crumbs, you will be much easier to release the child to the "hands". Usually, it refers to the allowed or unwanted games. Another useful item - to agree on the wording and use instead of "I" - "we". Then, injuring a woman phrases like: "There will come the weekend, and I'll take you to the zoo," will become a democratic "My mom (or dad) take you to the zoo."
And of course, sometimes the young mother to work with his jealousy at a deeper level by enlisting the help of a psychologist. This is especially relevant when the feeling of jealousy baby occupies a central position and prevents fully enjoy life and live a happy family.
Also you will be interested to read this: how to respond to children's jealousy
