What social skills should have a child who has reached the age of ten?
But with social skills is more difficult, because the parents is not easy to strike a balance between the desire to cultivate an obedient and self-sufficient child at a time.
According to psychologists, to 10 years it is important to teach a child to read 10 things.
1. Be able to answer "no"
It is important to explain to the child that the situations in life are very different. In some of them it is necessary to respond to requests from other people's consent if you really want to and can help, has the necessary resources and time, but on the other side - to say a firm "no." This often security issues, defense of personal boundaries, their dignity - and just protection of their interests, principles, and personal time.
Rarely when 10-year-old child should drop everything and rush to someone for help at the first call. On the other hand, children who are taught to be obedient, do not say "no" in general, and anyone can become a victim of sexual violence or bullying.At the same time parents should be prepared to hear "no", and in his address. After all, if the child is asserting its interests, it does it in front of everyone. And only then he will not be afraid to do it, if he knows that after his "no," you will not love him less.
2. To be able to accept criticism
To 10 years for the child's criticism does not become a tragedy, already at an early age do not need it overpraise. If a baby is used to that even his mistakes, failures and bad behavior to justify some external circumstances and continued its crack up, then to adolescence, he will absolutely not ready to face someone else criticism. And with it, however, they are facing in life everything. The child must endure before many small to be able to experience the great dignity of failure and frustration.
If he knows that he does not always have it all turns out perfectly, it will be someone else's criticism of such a child is less painful than the one in the life of just praise.
It is also important to explain to the kid that criticism is both justified and unjustified. In the first case it is based on objective reasons, in the second - on the emotions of criticism, which he can not control. To find out which kind of criticism has had to face, it is important to be able to ask questions: "What is wrong with my drawing," "Why do not you like my clothes?" etc.
3. Do not be afraid of mistakes
Mistakes make absolutely everything, it is necessary to take it for granted and just learn to learn from them. Do not scold the child for his mistakes or the inability to do something. Perhaps he really somewhere not tried very hard, but somewhere not thought, but your discontent will not correct the situation, and whacks all desire to continue.
Tell your child about their experiences and about errors that without them it is impossible to gain life experience, and the more experience - the smaller the error. Offer to help, send in the right direction, act softly and gently - as if you made a mistake.
4. Do not give yourself an insult
Often children are told that adults need to obey implicitly, in all their listening and respect. However, we must explain to the child that actually adults are not always right. For example, if the teacher allows himself to hurt the student, making fun of the whole class, then you need not to get lost and to defend themselves. But not rudeness and counter attacks.
Be sure to stay calm, because the abuser is just waiting for his victim puzzled or fall through to the cry and the tears. Answer need neutral and in the style of "And what is this?" "It's okay," etc. The main thing to realize that though not on the side of the aggressor and the victim a victim only makes her behavior and their willingness to wrong. The child must know their rights and responsibilities in relation to other people, especially adults.
5. Arguments in favor of his opinion
It is very important parental example. If your main argument - "I told (s)", the child is certainly not to learn how to express their thoughts and feelings. From an early age learn to make sense of his emotions, to explain his point of view, to argue in its favor. For this purpose it is necessary to listen to the child, to talk to him, to answer his questions and ask yourself, as well as to respect his opinion and reckon with it.
6. Do not do something exclusively "for the company"
Child approaches adolescence, when he will be particularly important to the approval of their peers and the acquisition of a status. But for 10 years he had a good understanding of what is good and what is bad. That carried on persuasions and provocations in the spirit of "What are you, scared?" - This position is a weak man. What's going on dangerous or illegal acts "for the company" - an erroneous position. And if friends are ready to turn away, if you will not support the actions that are considered invalid, it is not friends at all.
7. Do not be afraid to ask questions
That the child was not afraid and do not hesitate to ask questions, he has to get used to the fact that gets the answers. So the task of parents, as mentioned above, as much as possible to speak with the child, to answer his questions, and keep him curiosity. However it is necessary to accustom him to the fact that the school needed to ask questions of fact. If you do not understand something - do not be shy to ask. Perhaps someone from classmates is a laugh, do not worry.
But certainly in the classroom, there are other children who also misunderstood, but embarrassed to say so. They will support the one who asked additional questions. At the same time it is not necessary to ask questions with the aim of simply laugh classmates. They can not become ridiculous, and the jester's reputation - not the best assistant in your life.8. plan time
Ten years children still need some time for free play and just doing nothing. But it is important to teach a child to ensure that it does not drag on for the whole day, otherwise there will be no time for useful things. Again, the child understood the basics of time management, they must abide by his parents. If a child sees that many parents have time, correctly planning your time, instead of just crawling or sitting in phones, it would be to imitate them.
9. Respect others
Self-esteem and develop respect for others will help the child to become either aggressor or victim of bullying. Explain that there are people who put themselves above others because of their material wealth, for example. And the kids can show off their parents money, influential relatives, attractive appearance. But none of this does not give them the right to insult and humiliate other children who do not.
The child should be accustomed to the fact that peers from poorer families must be helped and not mock them. What more powerful should protect the weaker rather than attacking him. And that the physical and emotional violence is simply unacceptable - it can not be tolerated on themselves, nor apply to other people no matter what.10. To be able to sympathize
Kids are cruel - but this is a consequence not developed empathy and emotional intelligence. It is impossible to develop empathy without a whole to teach a child to care about the world and people to respect others and their interests. Empathy makes us more human, helps to see something more important than their immediate needs and material whims.
If the parents are engaged in charity work, not bulging and is not boasting, the child probably too will think about helping others.
You will be interested to know how to help your child if he has no friends.
