All parents are different and have their own idea about the approach to child-rearing. And while they are all very similar to those that sometimes come on the same rake and say in certain situations, the same phrase. And many of them realize that the child's behavior from these phrases, likely will not become better, but stubbornly continue their talk. In this case, parental or family not only have nothing to do with education, but even affect the child negatively.
Editorial Kolobok.ua I compiled a list of the most frequently used phrases parent, which have the opposite effect.
"Do not Cry!"These words of many of today's parents often heard, when they themselves were children. And at the moment of its negative effect on the formation of a child's personality is proved by psychologists. After crying - this is the only response that helps the child to express their negative emotions. There is clear and the position of the parents - who want to hear the heart-rending cries of his child, especially if you are in a public place.
But our task - not to eliminate the uncomfortable sound, and give the child confidence that we accept the feelings of the child, give him the opportunity to express them freely, to help sort out his emotions. So instead of to stop this disgrace strict: "Stop bawling!", Talk with your child, help him understand the reason for crying, "You sad. You are angry, frightened... ". Call emotions with a question and with an affirmative tone to kid himself could understand what is happening to him. In this way you will expand its emotional "horizons."
"Stop that!" Run, yell, throw food and toys... This phrase does not work. Psychologists have proved that children, to whom parents turn demanding that something is done in the form of an ultimatum instead of "stop it" mistaken for "work" with enthusiasm tripled.
To avoid this, it is better to negotiate "on the bank." Instead of hard demands to stop running along the corridor clinic, even climbing the stairs to warn the baby that "there is a slippery floor, so you can not run. We sit down with you around the office in a chair and read a book. "
Such phrases set up a child for a certain behavior and do not contain imperative. Instead of saying: "Stop whining!" Encourage your child to articulate what he wants in a calm voice, because you can not understand it. And do not forget: children's tantrums - a physiological phenomenon connected with the development of the nervous system.
"Sorry!" Often, we begin to demand an apology from a child who is not psychologically ready to sincerely repent in a perfect act. We think that in this way he will grow up not only polite, but also compassionate. But this is not the case. To teach a child empathy, kindness and compassion, you need to teach him not to apologize, but to come to the aid of those who are in a difficult situation. For example, the child destroyed the house on the sand which I had another baby and he was upset.
Prompt child to child offered his assistance and together they built a new one. A courtesy words such as "I'm sorry", "thank you", "please" child learn to pronounce their own, if it is in the appropriate situations to hear them from you and other significant adults.
"I told you!" or other interpretation of it: "You see!" - one of the most destructive phrases parental lexicon. She says with pride and winning tone at the very moment when your child still welled up from the couch, where you were not allowed to ride him.
Frankly, to celebrate his innocence and shame baby in unpleasant for him and painful situation - it is not too dignified for a parent. Better now to comfort the child, and then to discuss the incident in a calm atmosphere. Ask crumbs calm tone, as he thinks, why it happened and how, in his opinion, to avoid this in the future. Weathered negative experience gives the child an opportunity to think over the incident and draw their own conclusions.
"How much can you repeat!" Another meaningless phrase from a parent's arsenal. After all, if the child has not fulfilled what you asked for it or you do not hear (was, for example, is busy watching TV or playing), or simply does not want to fulfill your request.
In the first case calmly and clearly communicated to the child about what he needs to do. The second will have to find out the cause of failure to comply with your request and agree that he fulfilled it. "You see what a mess in your room, we can not go for a walk while you do not get toys. Let's quickly put all the places, while I'll take the bike for a walk. " Be wise and tolerant of your children!
And be sure to ask, why Indian mother never yell at their kids.
