Many of us have heard stories about how the older children in the house with the appearance of a new family member just started my eyes and were trying to annoy any innocent little crumbs, just appeared on shine.
On further consequences of such behavior of older children and can not speak - it sometimes comes up to the cruelty "eldest" in relation to the baby, which can result in even unhappy case. How to prevent, or, in extreme cases, a smooth display of children's jealousy about their little brother or sister?
First we need to determine what factors most contribute to the emergence of this feeling.
1. If little difference between children aged (1-3 years, for example, when an older child is called so only nominally, because, in fact, he is still very baby requiring parental love and attention).
2. If the children are gay or an older child is a boy (girls easier to engage in the care of the baby because of their innate maternal instinct).
3. The indifference of parents to what is happening in the relationship between the children.
This list of factors is certainly not exhaustive, but also it can be seen that it is very much in question children jealousy of the younger members of the family depends on the attitude of parents towards their children and their proper behavior them. So what it is expressed, it is the correct behavior?
Firstly, you need to prepare baby to the appearance of brother or sister before he was born, telling how he is born, as he will need care and assistance to older. It also should focus on the fact that all the innovations for the older child (whether weaning, the first hike in kindergarten, the allocation to it separate room) should be carried out before the birth of the baby to the senior did not have the impression that because of the appearance of a brother / sister of himself "walled off" from the parents.
Secondly, after the appearance of a newborn at home to explain elder that pipsqueak is in need of care and without the help of the older you get little. In this case, the child leaped sense of taking care of the younger, that can have a positive impact on the further development of relations between children. The result of this advice in our family, for example, is that without the participation of a daughter (2.5 years old) have not It passes no change diapers at her brother, and sing lullabies to him before bedtime has become its good tradition.
Another important detail, compliance with which can prevent the occurrence of children's jealousy. This is to maintain the same relationship with an older child that you were, and until the new family member light. After all, if you, for example, will no longer walk in the street with a senior as usual, to read him bedtime stories, or even kissing cheek in the morning upon waking, the child will instinctively "culprit" of these changes in the name of his younger brother / sister. And this is a direct road to unjustified revenge crumbs for the "abduction of parental love."
In case, if an older child to younger jealousy escape failed and the relationship between the children become more and more tense, control of the situation it is necessary to take into their own hands. And it should not be expressed in constant condemnation of the actions of the older (and even more so in the physical punishment for "small offense"), which will only aggravate the situation, and in the well-built confidential conversation with child. In this case, it is necessary to explain that you understand his feelings and not become a curse for jealousy, because you know that it will soon pass. Give the child "laurels on credit" - praise him a lot and exaggerated. After all, if you believe, as I want to live up to expectations!
Whatever it was, the child has to go through jealousy (because its manifestation in the first place is his love for his parents), and the most difficult time this complicated feelings just fall on the moment when in the house there is a "competitor" and a senior begins to realize that it for a long time. Therefore, during this difficult period to behave particularly wise, because at stake is the relationship and the friendship of your children in the future.
