Perhaps no person on the light that no one knows the feeling of fear. It is clear that both adults and children would like to experience it as little as possible. And as the last dream of being bold: "I want to be the bravest brave!" "Here I grow up - nothing at all afraid!" Is heard from their kids?
Of the five basic human emotions (joy, sadness, anxiety, fear and anger) the most "disgusting" fear and anxiety. Fear - is a particular acute emotional state, a special sensual reaction, which manifests itself in a dangerous situation. Every healthy person can have a sense of fear, because this ability is important for self-preservation. Fear always caused a particular and intimate, has already come, danger. Unlike fear, anxiety - that experience a distant and uncertain risk. And if the fear is normally inherent in all, the anxiety manifests itself in different individuals differently and exceeding a certain level of anxiety is no longer the norm.
The first thing a newborn faces - it's fear. Can you imagine that the experiences a child is born: it is something compresses and pushes it somewhere fails, does not feel his body boundaries, does not understand what's going on with him; then louder and new sounds, bright lights, touch other people, etc. One is forced to get scared and cry.
Psychoanalytic literature in detail, clever, and often too technical and confusing (but this is between us) considers children's fears, and their influence on the life of an adult. But an attentive and loving parents need not scientific data that demonstrates the erudition of the author, and the specific Recommendations: What to do if "the child is afraid of the vacuum cleaner" or "the child cries when we go in the car, and the car stops "; or "first-grader at prodlenki starts crying that he will forget to take home, and the bandits can attack the Pope." These are all real cases from the practice of child psychotherapist.
So, how parents can help their kiddies to cope with fears, and what they are, children's fears, "strashnye- prestrashnye".
Age-related fears children
At each stage of development, children experience a variety of fears, which are different for different ages:
• From birth to 6 months: the fear of sudden loud sounds and noises, kids may be afraid of sudden fast movements on the part of the other person, fear of falling and loss of support. This is due to the memory of the terror experienced by birth.
• From 7 months to 1 year old baby scare has some loud sounds, such as the noise of a vacuum cleaner. At 7 months, many babies exhibit a clear concern in the absence of my mother, and 8 are afraid of strangers. Undressing, dressing and a change of scenery, the height - for children of this age is also a reason for fear. For many children a source of fear is a drain hole in the bathroom and shower.
Tip for parents: If the kid was nervous when in contact with other people, try to provide him with emotional protection: Take your hands, hug, pat. Noisy adult company - this is not what your baby needs right now. And if not avoided-din of noise, do not forget to wash the baby, wash away with it once the negative. Make massage fingers, pat - relax your back and tummy.
• Children aged 1 to 2 years may be afraid of being separated from their parents, strangers, trauma, sleep and dreams (nightmares). The main fear - it's dark, and night terrors.
• The greatest fear of the children experience when they feel that their parents do not like. You can never threaten the child, the parents throw him. Neither fun nor seriously can not say that it will leave. On the street or in a store, you can often hear, completely in despair, my mother calls her naughty son: "Come quickly, or leave you here!" And "good" grandmother's help, "Behold I will take away Mom. " Such words make sense of a bright flare of fear that you throw. But for a child, especially a small, left without parents means to be completely alone in the world.
• Up to 3 years, there are fears of rejection by parents ( "I do not like"), fear of unfamiliar peers, a change of scenery, change the order of life, the child may begin to be afraid of the animals. In addition, children of this age scare threatening and strange objects large - cranes, machines. Great is the fear of separation from loved ones. If the difficulties of life are separated us for a long time with the children, this separation should be carefully prepared.
Tip for parents: Sometimes difficult for parents to tell the child that they go for the operation, go on vacation (not to mention the parents' divorce), etc. How children react to the absence of their parents? Afraid of the consequences, the adults go out at night when the kids are asleep, or during the day when they are at school, leaving my grandmother (the nurse) to explain what was going on.
A responsibility we ought to take over. Tell your child about the upcoming separation. Emphasize that you like and remember it. Figure out how to interact without seeing each other: making phone calls, thinking about each other, looking at the photo. You can draw calendars to see when it's day of the meeting. Or write little baby stories and draw pictures, and adult to whom you have entrusted your child, ask to read every day a new tale from mom or dad. Your loving heart, I'm sure, will tell you more options for home therapy, and will not allow the fear of separation foothold in the heart of a child.
