If you ask the parents whether they want their child to be able to make decisions and take responsibility for them, enjoyed prestige among peers and listen to his opinion, and has been successful and has found his place in life, in other words, was the leader of the majority will respond affirmative.
At the same time, we, the parents, themselves often prevents children to develop their leadership skills. Let's talk about what the most common mistakes in parenting, we assume.
We do not give them chances.Characteristic of modern parenthood is that we are constantly afraid for their children, and because of this completely deprive them of independence. Of course, the task of parents to protect their children from the dangers. But the child does not learn to do anything himself without a reasonable risk. Therefore, it is not necessary to surround the child's overprotective and insure every step. Allow him to make decisions and take responsibility for them.
We immediately rush to the rescue.Modern parents are trying in every way to protect their children from the problems and worries. If difficulties arise, do not leave the baby with them one on one, and immediately rush to solve them, not leaving them a chance even think about what is happening and creating the illusion that everything is solved self-other, but their actions do not have a negative consequences. Thus, we deny a child the opportunity to learn to get out of difficult situations, as well as the reason for this is to respect yourself. And it is necessary for the quality leader.
We're too generous with praise. Child psychologists say that to praise the child is necessary. And this is true, but it must be reasonable and in accordance with age. If you praise 5-year-old kid for what he has washed over a bowl - this is normal, and if the child is a teenager, something quite strange to praise him for it. Of course, it is very important that the baby just to participate in the competition or took 12th place in the school competition of soft toys. But after some time the child begins to doubt refer to the praise for such achievements, and even ashamed of it, because no one except the parents in this regard expresses delight.
We allow guilt exceed common sense.A child should not always get what he wants. And absolutely nothing bad will happen if you tell him "no" or "not now." He must understand: in life everything happens according to his wishes, and to get something, it must be earned. In life, he often faced with disappointments and to the fact that the world does not revolve around him.
We do not teach them to their mistakes.Trying to look perfect in the eyes of children, we do not tell them about their mistakes or those that have been in the past or those that we assume today. This does not mean you have all the colors to tell about his wild youth. But of what may be the consequences of a wrong choice and that you, like any other people, have a right to make mistakes, and most importantly know how to fix them, you must know the child.
We confuse intelligence with maturity.We think that if a child is a good student and has some talents and achievements - which makes it a mature and responsible person. A mature man - someone who knows how to manage their emotions, to behave in society and take responsibility for their actions. These skills do not come with the next birthday. Only parents can raise them.
We did not do as Velim do. If you do not do what the need of the children, you render the child a disservice. Because he thinks you are a leader and to imitate and if your words with deeds and promises are not met, it will teach the child lying, irresponsibility and hypocrisy. Be a good example for your child.
And be sure to ask, on what grounds can define 9 "toxic" parents.
