Opinions about the punishment in the process of raising a child today are two diametrically opposed concepts. Some people still believe that the punishment is an integral part in the formation of a harmonious personality. Other strictly convinced that punishment only degrades, leaving a negative mark on the child's memory for a lifetime. Does this matter the golden mean, and that psychologists recommend?
In fact, to bring a person, never punished - it is a utopia. And the punishment is indeed an integral part of education, as it allows the child to always feel the boundaries of what is permitted by raising responsibility for their actions. Only punishment punishment strife.
The child whose parents are beaten for the slightest offense, obscene language, Forced to stand for hours on his knees in the corner, doomed to an unhappy childhood, and in the future, and to adult life, permeated by low self-esteem and distrust around the world. This behavior of parents has nothing to do with the educational process. This is only a manifestation of violence. But the punishment, it is not in a fit of parental emotion is almost always for the benefit of developing productive and crumbs in the best quality.
The main mistake that parents:
The absence of a specific explanation of the reasons for the sentence. If, indeed, the punishment in the circumstances, it is inevitable that before its exercise must be clear and easy to pronounce, for the child will be punished. If a pipsqueak does not understand, for what his particular behavior is planned punishment, all subsequent actions will be absolutely useless.
Consistency and integrity - is one of the basic axioms of education. If yesterday you punished her fidget for a certain offense, because it was not in the mood, but today it is the same action it is allowed, as the dust settled, these emotional swings are not only educational process, but do not give crumbs to understand in the future, for which it can be punished. As a consequence, this behavior causes the parents in the future only stress and anxiety in the child.
Lack of physical punishment. Method "and the pope" is obsolete, and to tell the truth, never gave a positive dynamics in the process of education. any physical punishment is an act of violence. And violence is absolutely unacceptable for either adults or, especially for children. We need to find alternative methods of punishment applicable to the child, without the use of any physical force. Otherwise, in the future he will face psychological problems.
timeliness of punishment It is important in the process of raising a child. Recall of a perfect act of a week is absolutely irrational. The punishment should be just perfect for a child act. In this way he will be able to distinguish between their actions in the future and understand what he is responsible.
Differentiation of punishment and reward. Many parents in the process of punishing the child take gifts given to him far from punishing. It categorically can not be done, as the child has to know exactly what gifts have been received by him earlier as a sign of encouragement for good behavior and in no way connected with the current punishment. And if a child was guilty now, he loses the ability to get what you want in the future, but does not lose what he had received earlier. This behavior helps parents crumbs in future be responsible for their actions, learning to control their emotions and actions.
The ban on public punishment. In order not to injure the self-esteem of the child, punish him "tete-a-tete." Punishment when foreign people will have no effect, only humiliate the child and cause bitterness in your direction.
We criticize the act, but not a child.When criticism begins towards the baby, it is his very hurt and offended. The brain receives crumbs only one sentence: "I do not like." To avoid this, you must not criticize the child and his action. The phrase "to hurt small - it is a bad act" sounds much softer than "You are behaving badly, hurting kids." Children more than anyone else feel this difference, so be very careful with the words - they can carry radically different meaning.
Also be sure to ask about for which in any case can not scold the child
