Raising a child - a theme with endless question marks. However, each "cell of society" chooses his model behavior. "Roots" in this model are different: they often unknowingly rubbings both the "blueprint" model of education with parents, sometimes they are the complete opposite. Sometimes, the tactics and style of education is based solely on the opinions and experiences of various experts, courtesy of "provided" in our time in a large quantity.
In any case - every parent chooses the educational path for the benefit of the child, wanting to see it succeed in the future. How is it to realize a desired and correctly measure out portions of love and support - is another question.
A saucer with a blue border
There are parents who love their child so that is really just a "strangling" him their love, not giving the right to choose, thereby reducing its further motivation. This "zalyublenny" the child in the future is unlikely to be a desire to achieve something, to take risks, because as a child he got to "silver platter".
Moreover, the "mama's son" and "father's daughter" in adult life often lose their status of "stars" and are lost because they do not understand why the world is no longer "cool" around them. As a consequence of this "excessive" love - the child is difficult to build relationships with their peers, it's hard to find friends, and later - a soul mate. Zalyublennomu once the child is difficult to realize that he, too, something has to bring to the relationship, to sacrifice something and yield even in small things.
Deficiency of love
In parallel with these children there are others. They have reached great heights in life, "decent" financial situation, but still remembers his childhood as a nightmare. They got parents tyrants, constantly overestimates, it would seem, and so taking off the bar, and even if child and "doprygival" to her parents that it was not enough, and they set the bar at a new height.
This reality is often typical for an older child, who lives next to the "zalyublennymi" younger siblings who love goes without the slightest effort. Seniors in this case rapidly become adults, losing the right to children's pranks, offenses and ordinary everyday fun, but with a well-established desire to prove something, to show, that simply deserve love parents.
A fine line
Lucky in this life to children whose parents choose the method of "golden mean", laying in a child the foundation for future success in life, while filling him with your love and sense of security. That is simply giving child childhood: nurturing, but not banning express themselves and their character, their feelings and desires. How to try to achieve this:
- putting the child is not the latest fashion trends, and in the clothes you do not mind giving the child the opportunity to explore the world, even exploring mud puddles;
- try not to perform every whim of the child at his first call, and to teach him patience, discerns the real needs of ordinary whim;
- not "buy" his love, zadarivaya toys, and spend time together;
- not order a child (this form of communication more often, unfortunately, used by many parents who do not even notice this: "Do not go there," "Shut up", "Stop", etc.), and to explain, argue and offer something.. return;
- on their personal examples to show what is "good" and what is "bad", because, for example, can be a thousand time to talk teen that smoking - it's bad, but smoking near Papa completely "kill" all the words spoken completely;
- at the birth of the second or third child, first love should be twice as much, that he would not have thought for one moment that he is no longer needed;
- do not prohibit a child doing things you love, because you think it unpromising, and to maintain his child in any undertakings and encourage for further action;
- be able to find a middle ground between criticism and praise, and yet not be afraid to praise porridge butter will not spoil.
love investing
Loving a child can be in many ways, but most importantly - learn how to build good relations with him and the possibility of becoming a child understands the closest person to whom he is not afraid to come into the complex minute. Otherwise - the child will go to seek support anywhere, but not to you.
If you are at one time have been the victim of so-called "dysfunctional" childhood, it is not a sentence. Remember often only the good moments of your life with her parents, even if they can be counted on the fingers.
Maybe they are a "victim" of this scenario, and more than you need love just is not the parent, and your. Love in the heart is actually a lot - it will be enough for all, and most importantly - if you give it to others, it comes back to you a hundredfold.
