We, the parents, so naturally take care of their children, protected from the complications - even have time to collide with them, and we think we do not want to scare ahead of time, "charms" of reality.
While some moms and dads prefer to work out at their children immunity before the entry into adulthood and begin to "call a spade a spade" when the child is still difficult to comprehend adolescence age. We do not know what you will join the camp. and eIf, in your opinion, the right of the other parent, you are sure to find the right advice in a rather hard letter that mom and blogger Darya Korol'kova wrote to her teenage daughter.
1. After 3 years I can expel you from the house.
Sounds scary, huh? But nonetheless. At 18 you will have 2 options: you enter a university, and I support you as best I can, until the end, or to find a job. Either you put on the university bolt (and I never convicted of you for it) and go to work. And to ensure their needs itself. Contain non-students girl 18+ years of age, I will not, because I think this is wrong. You have 3 years to select the...
2. You're beautiful. You are beautiful. You're very clever. You're much better than I do. You - remarkable.
I've known you for 15 years, and you are much better than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. If someone does not understand, that's his problem. Well, a little daddy, but he is bright enough to descend the stairs, then I'm not worried.
3. I'm not an example.
You're completely different, individual, you do not have to love what I love, you have every right to trample on my authority and put the bolt on my values. One caveat: be responsible for the choice you too will itself.
4. You are free. I do not expect anything from you.
You can go to the wipers, manicurists, fitters, turners, housewives, business intelligence, office managers and become a cashier at Auchan. I do not think it is possible to interfere with your choice of life. But do not forget to re-read the first paragraph.
5. You do not owe me anything. I raised you will not borrow.
I do not expect a glass of water, damn it, I do not expect you to provide me a comfortable old age, I'm not dreaming your Nobel Prize. You have the right to choose what is important and valuable to you. Or let it go. It's your life and your choice.
6. You have a house.
Whatever happens in your life, I'll be there if you need it. I will support and compassion, I sympathize and try to help if you ask. But I will not intervene spontaneously.
7. I have my own life.
I do not have to help with the whistle, throw your things for you. sacrifice their comfort for your. I CAN. But I should not.
8. You have your own life.
Whom to marry, give birth to children there, to become a lesbian if, whether to enter the Unified Russia, you will always resolve itself. My views, political affiliation, belief in life should not in any way affect you. You can do what your heart tells, conscience and self-interest. From this you will not lose me, you do not cease to be my daughter, do not become a persona non grata.
9. No one is going to harm you.
It is not easy to understand, but the truth is: everyone thinks only of himself. And I. Yes. Any person in any circumstances, behaves as it deems proper. Nobody (mental health) does not worsen their lives consciously. He (or she) act so. how (from their perspective) will be better for them. No more. Just your pictures are not the same world.
10. World is not fair.
There is no guaranteed way to achieve success and guaranteed way to avoid failure. You're not in control of this world. You can do everything right and be fucked. You can violate all the world and to be on horseback. The only thing you have to worry about - it's about honesty. Do not lie to yourself. Learn to understand yourself. Aware of their true needs and feelings. And think of how you will be better.
11. Your "good" will almost always mean someone's "bad."
You will occupy someone else's place at the institute or at the cash register, "Auchan". You're going to meet with someone the love of life or sit on someone's favorite place in the theater. Do not worry. Your "bad" will always mean someone's "Good", so you're even.
12. 100% you can trust only themselves.
No, not even me, I can not climb into your head. You're sure to nedoskazyvaesh, hide and conceal. I know, I am also doing so. I also have a mother. Only you yourself know everything about myself. Only you know what is capable.
13. Do not pass the buck.
For your life from the age of 18 you answer. And no Onasuka Onkozel and has nothing to do with it. To have children, if you can raise them alone. Beris for the project, if vytyanesh it without peers. Emigrate, if able to be alone in a foreign country. ONE. If you are lucky and are assistants, relatives, friends - it will be easier. But they do not you owe. Do not count.
14. Counted. Every action has consequences.
Maybe you can not foresee everything. but aboutbuoy count maximum. The better you represent yourself options - the smarter your behavior.
15. Do not listen to me.
I dashed off 14 points, which, in my opinion, will make your life better than mine. But you - not me (and this, incidentally, was a separate item). Do not compare. Is not equal. Come and live. I gave birth to you not for you to be my daughter. I wanted to release human world that live in it its own life. Come and live it.
15a. Only then do not complain.
15b. Or turn off the phone. I worry.
