One psychologist suggested a brilliant idea in its simplicity: "If any of your existing possible, try to take your child's hand. You will not notice how quickly time will pass, and he stops to stretch your palm to your hand! "
Indeed, we - the whole universe for our children, support in dealing with the outside world and a role model. They see us as an absolute authority. This is understandable, because the parents are aware of and always doing the right thing, and love us in spite of the mistakes that we do not always ready to admit. And our response to their actions, inadvertently dropped by the phrase, which we immediately forget they can inspire or provide them with a lot of difficulties in adult life.
When I try to not understand them. Remember the movie "You can not dream?" There the boy recognized his mother is in love with a classmate. What mom replies, "Oh, do not make me laugh! You shall have no such Cach a million! "We often think that we know everything about their children and understand them best, without taking into account their opinion on this matter. We, for example, to send their children to the school of mathematics to become a financier, "Dad", it is not given that he actually enjoys oriental languages and want to learn the Chinese language. Well, that children can understand in real life? What are they there may be a problem compared to our older works?
Sometimes, we even did not hear them and shrugs when they share their sorrows, not realizing how important to them that we have listened and gave advice. The girl did not notice? Oh, come on you still all ahead! On the other fell out? Big deal! Make peace! But for the child's problems that seem ridiculous and frivolous, not less important than to have problems on the job or difficulties in paying the mortgage.
When it is not supported. Did you know that when a young Enrico Caruso came home in tears and complained that music school teacher laughed at his singing and compared it the voice of the wind whistling in the drainpipe, his mother said, "Do not pay any attention to my son, do not listen, because you sing as the most beautiful bird on this Earth. I know it. I hear it. "
Perhaps if his mother questioned the talent of the child, the world would have lost a great opera singer. Never tell your children that they are something that is not right, or do not possess the talent. Your question can completely deprive them of their self-confidence. Always be on the side of their children, support and encourage them. Simple phrase: "You will succeed" is able to give an incentive to the incredible development.
When comparing them with other children. Not so clever like Peter, not as flavorful as the Dasha? Why did you score for a test lower than in Sofia? And when the child begins to explain that the control was difficult, and all the others wrote it worse is that he heard in response? That you are not interested in the rest, let them worry about their parents. As a result, the child begins to conceal from you their failures and ceases to strive to achieve something. Why, because the others will be still better? Compare the achievements of the child only with his previous achievements, but not with the success of other children.
WHEN mocked them. Children expect ridicule from classmates and friends in the yard, and here they are willing to take a punch and respond in kind, but by us, the parents, they only expect support. And when a child tells us about the first love or their failures, you need to be very delicate. Also it is impossible in the presence of children to discuss them with other adults: what seems fun to a child can be a vital issue.
WHEN ignoring them! This is perhaps the worst thing that can happen in a parent-child relationship. Ignoring leads to the fact that the child is not waiting for assistance and support in the family, and looking for her outside. And then did you get used to not need. This leads to a loss of communication between the parents and the grown children. Previously, you had no time for them, and when they grew up, they do not have time, so do not take offense, and the fact that they are so rarely call. Over the years, you reap is what used to be sown.
IMPORTANT: Our children love us without conditions, without paying attention to what we can sometimes frustrate them their bad mood. And more than all the gifts to the world, they need our love, attention and support. Often hug their children and tell them how they will road. It will be for them the very strong support to their adult life.
