It is believed that the first-born becomes a nanny for young default. Born first - whether it is good to change diapers, wipe his nose and walk their young. And if the younger mischief, whether it is good as the older, missed the trick, get your "legal" cuff. You're a nurse. Well, what if you 7 years? And do not worry, what you want to take a walk in the playground - who will look for the brother or sister?
You've probably already guessed, what we tend to. And thanks to the prompts child psychologist Yekaterina Demina you know 5 reasons why should not shift to the older children, the responsibility for the upbringing of the younger ones.
Reason 1.If the age difference between children less than 12 years, they can not physically be a deal with the concerns of the younger ones.Parents usually start with small things: ask an older child a moment to sit with a younger, while mom takes a shower / brew tea / hang out the laundry. And the elder turns to entertain the little gnats rattles or cheerful "cuckoo".
Then Mom "is a rage" and increasingly trusted by the first-born of caring for younger as well as a reward promises sweets or some other surprise. As a result - the elder have to take care of that child because of the physical development can not perform: for example, to keep the younger, which descends a hill or is about to fall from the ladder or swing a baby site.
There were times when my mother ran away for a moment to the store and trust the older child to ride a carriage with a minor. Child bowled accidentally dropped in on a stone or a curb, stroller overturned - and the injury received, and the nurse, and the crumb in a wheelchair. But "imitation" birth, when doctors have to take the younger sisters stuck "there" pupsikov ...
Reason 2.Small nanny may inadvertently harm a baby brother or sister.Many will say: what's wrong with that, we had stayed and younger - and nothing else! Yes, it is. However, along with that of the pediatric intensive care physicians can also tell you how many of these kids, with the remaining nurses, brought with severe burns, cuts beads and buttons or stones in the nose, bites, poisoning, when little older younger vinegar watered or "lemonade" from the refrigerator and in the bottle - alcohol. A strangulation during play, the fall from the window of the younger, the older of which sat on the window sill to see if my mother is ...
She psychologist Catherine Demin said as 5 years of age to play with his brother in the doctor and made him empty syringe injections. Do brother miraculously formed air embolism - the good, the younger cried aloud with fear and pain.
Reason 3.Being a nanny - is work. If the difference in the age of 12 years and more, can be used as a babysitter older. But at the request and for a fee. Play with the younger, when he is in a good location and a number of parents - is one thing. A stay with a brother or sister - roaring fidget when parents need to urgently leave the case - a very different picture. In the latter case, the elder is responsible for the safety of the younger - and, moreover, absolutely brainless "shilopopa". Let's not forget that a teenager has its own, full of life, lessons, tutoring in the section or with a tutor, why bother with a junior - is the load operation.
If you ask the firstborn stay conscious babysitter for younger compensates for his work a small amount of money or pleasure. For example, as a bonus, you can take a senior in cinema, skating rink, make a surprise.
There is a common sense approach when helping older did not pay the money, and touted as the household duties. But at the same time you need to negotiate with your child when and how much he will be able to help you in time.
Reason 4.Older children are not guilty, that you gave birth to himself more heirs and not calculated force to care for them.Many parents are justified, that, say, the junior was not planned and appeared suddenly, so his birth had to think of large apartments, for additional work or podrabotke. As a result, parents are beginning to abuse the time of the erased and literally charged with the duties of his nanny. Oldest child forced to feed, bathe, Jr., to sit down on the pot led to a kindergarten and take home at night to sit at home with the younger, until they return the parents.
Childhood, older is not as time for yourself, walk and play with your friends - as well. Jr. in this case, a senior, to put it mildly, does not digest, because he takes away from him all his spare time.
Let's agree: if not a war or disaster, the childcare - is the direct responsibility of parents.
Reason 5.Children, who strained his concerns about the younger ones in the future have difficulty conceiving children or do not want to become parents.Older children can help in taking care of junior, but only voluntarily and with pleasure. But often I have to watch my mother scolds older for the behavior of young restless who fell, soiled, lost toys, etc. "Where are you watching?! You also been said to be close to my brother! "- scolds mom firstborn. And he himself just 7. Followed by the need to look more ...
This fear for the lives of the younger threatened "violence" parents sometimes can turn out to cause psychological infertility. The girl wants to get pregnant, but does not work, because deep in the subconscious of "sitting" recollection, how hard and scary it was with a little brother or sister then. Time passed, but the fear remained.
It happens that the first-born who grew up consciously do not want to start their children because of the "entrenched" inside knowledge "Children - it is an excessive burden." So if you want grandchildren someday - be engaged in their children themselves.
