Divorce of parents always hurts the child. Just imagine - his familiar world is collapsing before our eyes. He tries to come to terms with the fact that mom and dad can no longer live under the same roof. This can become a psychological trauma for life.
To avoid this, parents who decided to get a divorce, you just need to know a few tricks that will help their child adapt to new circumstances.
Don't hurt your child any more. Never quarrel in his presence with another parent, and God forbid you speak badly about his dad (mother). Even if his father is not a gift and does terrible things, for a child he must always remain the best in the world. Try not to show your baby your tears and anger, otherwise he will also worry about this.
Tell him honestly about the upcoming changes. You should not dedicate the child to the details of what is happening or say the word "divorce". Tell about it in his language. If the child is small, it is better if it is a fairy tale. Choose the right one online or compose your own. Weave as many details as possible about the father, mother, and the child into the story. “In a distant kingdom lived a father, mother and two sisters. The king dad went to work every day, the queen mom stayed at home with the little princess, and the big princess went to the royal kindergarten. They also had a red fluffy cat... ".
Help your child become aware of their feelings and experiences. Always find time for a frank conversation. Ask how the child feels. Let him know that he can hug you at any second and cry because his parents are no longer together. Let him not be ashamed of his emotions. Tell him that you also really miss the old days when mom and dad were together. Even if it's not, lie! Now your child from these words will be easier.
Do not turn your son or daughter into a rope that is constantly being pulled. Remember that a child is not an insensitive thing, it cannot be used for manipulation and blackmail. You should also not put him in front of a difficult choice with whom he now wants to live. And let's say to you: “Come on, choose which leg to cut off for you - right or left? Which one is no longer needed? Find the strength in yourself and solve this issue without a child.
Tell us in detail how his life will change. Let the child know that both mom and dad will continue to take care of him as much as possible. Talk about where you will live now, whether you need to move somewhere, what days he will be able to see the second parent and how often. Don't let the unknown worry him.
Show him your love. Now you have a huge responsibility. Start paying twice or even three times more attention to your child than before the divorce. Be sure to tell him that both mom and dad love him very much, and this will always be the case.
Try to create two houses for the child. Yes. This is hard. But if it is necessary for the well-being of your child, then you can try. Make sure in advance that the two houses have all the things he needs. Divide old toys equally. Let him and there, and there surround familiar things.
Feel free to ask for help. Many are used to thinking that divorce is shameful and scary. If you have become depressed or, God forbid, your child has closed in on himself - do not be afraid to turn to a psychologist. There you will be able to cry a lot, and the child will pass the necessary tests and in a playful way receive qualified help from a specialist. But never complain about your life and do not cry at the psychologist if the child is next to you. Drink a sedative and wait until he is taken to a separate room and carried away with an interesting game.
Divorce is a difficult and painful life situation, and only with patience, you can survive this difficult period. Keep the well-being of your children in mind and never manipulate their feelings.
Also be sure to find out why divorce of parents programs the child for divorce in adulthood
