For the most part, men are not inclined to show their emotions to others, including, they do not show them when communicating with children. Well, unless they just hide their anger. Well, how can a father show his feelings for children, either through humor or through activity, that's all. And, of course, when this becomes permanent, it greatly harms relationships with children. So, if your father also did not show his feelings very much and was not emotional towards you, then he could inflict emotional trauma on you.
There is such a stereotype in society that it is the mother who should be raising children, walking with them, playing, taking them away and bringing them from kindergarten, school, from sections. The father is strictness, his role is to make sure that the instructions of the mother are fulfilled. But still, dad performs a different function more - he provides for the family. And that is all.
He came home from work, was terribly tired, said hello, ate and went to rest. And no one dares to pester him with some questions, games, fairy tales, there is a mother - so go to her. The father does not dare to show his emotional attachment to his daughters and sons, but, on the contrary, portrays his neglect and constant irritation. No, he does not want the children to disappear completely, let them be, but somewhere far away in the apartment from him.
And, of course, if you ask a father if he loves his offspring, he will certainly say that he loves. But his love is more expressed in material security. And then, he will give his mother money, and she herself will buy what the children are asking for.
And so, if daddy constantly avoids communication with the child, constantly finds something to do for himself, or suddenly gets tired, if only he would not be touched, a huge gap forms between him and the child. If such a daddy has to sit with a child for some reason, he has a real stress! After all, the child begins to make a lot of noise, pester, ask questions, makes him play with him, and you cannot send him to his mother, she is not at home. And so he arranges something like that so that the mother will then come, gasp, gasp, and minimize the father's time alone with the child.
Here are the signs that you are emotionally traumatized, ie. father neglected you!
- You become somehow uncomfortable and uncomfortable when you are left alone with your father.
- You feel like you and your father are strangers.
- Your relationship with your father seems meaningless to you.
- It is difficult for you to find any topic for conversation with your father.
- You sometimes experience anger towards your father, and then feel guilty.
If all this is about you, then most likely you really missed your father in childhood. And understand your father is not to blame! For the most part, men are all like that, they are not inclined to show emotions, unfortunately, only a few are capable of this. Probably, the father himself also did not feel close to his parents in childhood. After all, he was brought up as a man who must keep everything in himself.
If there is or was some kind of violence on the part of your father, whether moral or physical, then it is better to try to protect yourself.
If there is no violence, then at least try, no matter what it costs you, to improve your relationship with your dad. Come up with topics for conversation, come up with interesting activities for both of you, ask him about his childhood, often say that you love him.
Whatever it is, remember, he is your father, and he is not eternal!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-ponyat-chto-u-vas-emocionalnaya-travma-ot-otca-i-chto-delat.html
