Now so often they talk about generic scenarios, but before it seemed like nonsense. But it’s true, if you look at the stories of many families, you can understand that some kind of strange program is transmitted to all of us by birth. Here is one such story.
Family: husband, wife, four daughters, two sons. 1941 They live well, and suddenly there is a war. Father and sons go to the front. Mother and girls stay at home. Now the girls need to help their mother with the housework, clean the houses, dig in the garden, while the mother works day and night at the factory.
Girls grow up not by age, but by character, they become strong. Men are returning from the front, everything seems to be fine, everyone is safe and sound, only everyone is different. Father now drinks a lot, because before his eyes he has his murdered colleagues, the faces of those whom he killed, his sons are strict and with gray hair, the girls are independent, the mother is insensitive and cold.
The father begins to drink, and after a while he simply leaves for another woman. The mother starts to get sick. The eldest daughter is growing up and getting married. From hopelessness, because it is necessary so as not to remain an old maid. They live well, she gives birth to one daughter, a second, a third, a fourth. The husband is furious, he wants a son, he starts drinking, there are scandals in the house. And then he finds himself another woman, and sends his wife along with her daughters.
She returns to her father's house. The mother is very ill, she can hardly walk, but she helps her daughter with the children as best she can. Daughters grow up early, they also need to help their grandmother and mother. She constantly works, and then marries again, and again not out of love, but so that there is at least some man in the house. But unsuccessful. The husband drinks, beats, harasses girls. The woman gets divorced, her mother gets sick and dies. At that time, the eldest daughter is already 20 years old, and she decides to marry a classmate who very beautifully confesses his love to her.
A girl is born. The husband begins to drink and walk to the left. Suddenly, the woman realizes that such a life must be stopped, that she has seen all this, and that she does not want to repeat it. She alone brings up her daughter, works, studies, helps her mother, who began to get sick a lot, and her sisters.
And now the daughter is growing up, one, only. What has she seen in her life? Where is an example of a happy family, love, care, warmth for her? She is scared to think about how her life will turn out, she does not want to repeat everything that happened to her mother, grandmother, great-grandmother.
She already has her own attitudes about men - they all drink, cheat, beat their wives. She knows that in this life you need to be strong, rely only on yourself, give birth to only as many children as you can raise and raise alone. She finds herself inside the path trodden by her female ancestors. And she has no idea how to get out of there, how not to drown in it all!
I will say right away that she managed to get out of it all. She met a very good man, and for 20 years she has been happily married to him. They have four children, the first two were girls, and then two more boys. It was very difficult for her to break herself, so as not to repeat the fate of her beloved women, she had to literally get out of there.
It turns out that we can change our lives ourselves? No, do not ignore the experience of the ancestors, because it will be absorbed like a model. We will continue to stomp along that path, but we can get out. It's scary, painful, uncomfortable, but the only way to change everything for the better.
We cannot fix everything, we cannot take and rewrite history, we cannot shift responsibility to others, but we can try to heal ourselves and our lives. With my own hands!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-my-povtoryaem-sudbu-svoih-roditelej.html
