It turns out interesting, parents invest so much in us, spend all their strength, money, years on us, as if investing in the future. It is clear that adult children should help their parents, but according to their strength and not to the detriment of their family. But Vladimir has a very unpleasant situation, his mother literally demands money from him, and the man does not may refuse, but then he feels guilty before his family, because he takes away from them in order to please her.
Vladimir is one child in the family, and his mother raised him alone. Now he is 30, has a good job, a wife and a little daughter. When Vladimir told his mother four years ago about the wedding with Natalya, she flared up:
- Who gave you permission? You have nowhere to live, stop filling your head with nonsense!
“Mom, firstly, everything is serious with Natasha, and secondly, I will take an apartment on a mortgage, work, thank God, allows me to do this, I can support my family,” the man answered.
- And what about me? You haven't forgotten about me, I hope? You must support me too! I don't have a husband! Mom answered.
And my mother was 44 years old at that time, she worked, but she believed that her son was obliged to support her. She raised him, weaned him, raised him, so he must provide for her.
Vladimir used to provide for his mother, he always gave her money for beauty salons, clothes, recreation, and even food. The woman lived like cheese in butter, did not deny herself anything. And then Vladimir got married, his wife Natasha did not mind that he was helping his mother, but when Mishenka was born, it became much more difficult. The baby needed food, diapers, clothes, toys, and the apartment was also taken on a mortgage. But Vladimir's mother did not seem to understand this, and still demanded money from her son.
Natalya has already begun to take offense at her husband:
- Vov, explain to your mother that we don’t have money, Mishka’s food is running out, I won’t have anything to feed him tomorrow, and you want to transfer the last money to her for a manicure!
Vladimir called his mother and said:
- Sorry, mom, but I don’t have money now, you understand, Mishka is small, Natasha is on maternity leave, we have a mortgage.
And my mom just got pissed off.
- I warned you! You didn't listen to me! She sucked all the juice out of you, she spends only on herself. It also turns you against me! Looking for a job! When you were little, I pulled you alone, plowed like a horse at two jobs, I didn’t see the white light. Now you have to pay me back for this!
Vladimir felt ashamed. On the one hand, he could no longer drag money from the family to his mother's Wishlist, on the other hand, he considered himself obliged to help her. And he got a part-time job. He was at home only once a week, the rest of the days he left early, and came when everyone was sleeping. Natalia didn't like it.
- The son does not see you at all, as if you are not there, he will grow up without a father. Soon they won't recognize you!
Yes, Natalya was right, Vladimir understood this, but he simply did not know what to do. And then the washing machine broke down. They called the master, but he only spread his hands, said that it could not be repaired. I had to buy a new one, but there was no money for it.
It was decided to take a loan, but Natalia's parents did not allow this:
- No, guys, don't take a loan. Your anniversary is coming soon, so we decided to give you money, buy yourself a new car!
Vladimir was so ashamed to accept help from his wife's parents again. So many times they bought clothes for Mishka, toys, and even some furniture in the house, they never came to visit empty-handed. But Natalya reassured her husband, and soon a brand new washing machine appeared in the apartment.
When Vladimir's mother came to her son and saw a new washer, her eyes sparkled:
Wow, you bought yourself a new car! I need too! Get ready, let's go to the store, we will choose, buy me!
Mom, I don't have money! Vladimir answered in confusion.
- Here's another problem, you'll take a loan, - the mother answered in the affirmative, - And in general, come on, start saving money, save up for my vacation, my friends and I are going to the sea!
Yes, mom needs help, but what if there is no opportunity for this? She does not starve, she has a good apartment, she has a job, a good salary, she does not live in poverty. And Vladimir and Natalya sometimes live on bread and water, because almost all the money is spent on a mortgage, a communal apartment and a child. All in all, Vladimir could not resist:
No, I won't take out any loans. And my wife and my child will go to the sea in the summer! And you, mommy, earn on your desires yourself!
The mother was offended by her son, does not answer his calls, the man is very worried because of this. But there is no reconciliation. He won't succeed. The mother will again begin to manipulate him, to extract all the money from him to the detriment of his family. What will happen next is unknown!
Interested to hear your opinion on this situation!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/obyazan-soderzhat-mat-v-ushherb-svoej-seme.html
