It is always difficult to raise children, especially if the family is defective. When a woman is divorced, she faces many difficulties in raising her son.
No, this does not mean at all that the son will not grow up as a real man if a woman raises him alone. You just need to avoid some mistakes in education, and everything will certainly work out!
Of course, it's good when, after a divorce, the son continues to communicate with both mom and dad. But sometimes a mother is going to marry again, and then she begins to mistakenly assign all the responsibilities for raising her son to her new partner. Therefore, in no case should you push your son onto someone else's man, even if he became your legal spouse. You are your son's dearest and closest person. Your new husband can become your son's best friend, and this is at best, or just mom's husband, this is at worst. And you don’t need to hang anything else on a man!
And it is a mistake to believe that a boy certainly needs a man's hand, that he cannot be brought up as a real man if there is no example, a father, nearby. You don’t need to get rid of loneliness and find yourself a man to throw off on a small child, with his alleged needs. And what if your new husband does not need your son, is not convenient, unpleasant. Loves you, will love your son too? Yes, what are you saying, this happens only in ideal cases. And over time, you will understand that your union with a man is stronger and happier when your son is not around. And here's another mistake - you push him to the grandmother.
It is doubly terrible if a mother begins to change partners, looking for the perfect one or simply filling the emptiness in her soul and heart with new candidates. You can introduce your son to your man only if you have made a decision about your common future. And in another case, it is better to imagine a man as your colleague or friend, and not as the love of your life.
And another mistake - a complete rejection of men. In such a situation, a woman tries to replace both her mother and father for her child, as a result, she brings him up in severity, harshness, coldness, mistakenly believing that she gives him a real masculine upbringing. By the way, such upbringing can even lead to the fact that the boy will forever hate women and will prefer exclusively male communication in all respects!
How to do right and wrong?
Don't be afraid to kiss and hug your son! Be gentle and kind to him! No, you will not pamper him, but, on the contrary, you will make him a strong and self-confident man. It is impossible to spoil a child with love!
It should not be assumed that a boy growing up without a father and generally without male upbringing will grow into nobody, and that he must necessarily see a model of male behavior in front of him. I think your son has enough examples: grandfathers, uncles, maybe brothers, teachers, etc. - men will always be in his environment.
Just do not turn the upbringing of your son into the meaning of your life, put an end to yourself, and live as one boy! In this case, you will completely control the life of your son, and he will grow into a weak-willed and irresponsible mumble. And in the end, he will either cling to his mother's skirt all his life, or at one fine moment he will go crazy and go to build his own life. Take care of yourself, fill your life with what you want, and go to your son less.
In no case should you turn your son into a husband. Well, it's not intimate, in case anyone thought so. The point is that after a divorce, some mothers impose on their sons all the responsibilities, all the male work, pretending to be a weak girl who needs help for life.
More about how to
Don't tell your son stories about his father. Tell the truth about why you broke up, only without hateful emotions towards your ex-partner.
Never denigrate your son's father, and never compare them when the boy is behaving in a bad way. Like, "all in the father", "the same crooked", "the same stupid." It’s not the boy’s fault that his father, perhaps, acted ugly with you, he didn’t do anything bad to him!
It is important to convey to your son one simple but very important thought: you love him madly, people are different, and often they may not agree on the characters, but despite this, you will always be with him, and always support him.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-vospityvat-syna-esli-vy-v-razvode-s-ego-otcom.html
