Our parents gave us upbringing and education. They denied themselves a lot, abandoned their plans and goals, they tried to do everything possible so that we did not need anything. And what are we in response? We grew up and just started calling less often at first, and then stopped doing it altogether. What is the reason for this attitude towards parents? In any problem, both sides are to blame, so it's worth sorting out this issue!
Parents expect attention and respect from us when we are already becoming adults and independent people. This is a kind of gratitude that must be followed in relation to parents. But not all families have respect and respect for elders. Why?
With the advent of children, parents rebuild their whole lives differently, they do not sleep at night, spend everything free time for kids, patiently provide them with good sleep, healthy eating, walking, clothes, toys. And many women, having become mothers, begin to show hyper-custody to their children, which is called love. But in the end, their children grow up irresponsible and dependent.
Due to the fact that the mother cares too much only about the physical health of the child, she does not even delve into the fact that her offspring sometimes needs support, advice, help in a problem. It only provides such conditions that will not lead to anything bad, controls the actions of the child, forgetting that he also has desires and feelings.
And now the child grows up, faces adult life, so to speak, with reality, and he has a whole bunch of problems. He does not understand at all how to control his life, how to behave, what to do. And is he grateful in this case to his mother for raising him? No, he has a lot of problems, resentment. After all, he knows nothing about life, and just like a puppy in a puddle he is forced to wallow in problems.
And you need to educate the child so that he can understand the consequences of his words, decisions and actions. So that he himself chooses his future, evaluating all the pros and cons.
Yes. Not all adult children call their parents, not because they are very busy, but because they are offended, because there is no emotional connection. And the parents are entirely to blame, not the children. No one knows how to raise children, no one knows what is right and what is wrong. But what is true is that children should not be treated as weak-willed creatures, but as individuals. Allow them to make mistakes, of course, give advice, but do not try to force them to do only as dad or mom wants, somewhere be strict, but also do not forget to praise, support in difficult situations, be, if necessary, a pillow for crying and reliable shoulder. Otherwise, all the aspirations and desires of the child will simply be nipped in the bud.
If there are a lot of grievances between parents and children, a lot of misunderstanding, then when they grow up and start an independent life, communication will stop. Therefore, while your children are still in their teens, you better sit down and talk about everything, openly, honestly. And it is important not just to listen, but to hear your child, only then will it be possible to establish contact!
What to say to children who do not call their parents? Learn to forgive, because they are your most dear people. They tried their best, they did not know how to do it right, it was difficult for them to learn everything, perhaps they now regret it. Just sit down and talk, because someday these people will not be ...
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/vyrosshie-deti-ne-zvonyat-svoim-roditelyam.html
