This expression of Devil #13 from the old cartoon seems rude and wrong, don't you agree?
But, let's try to look at these words from the other side.
Healthy selfishness, for the sake of oneself, is good. But when selfishness does not take other people into account, it is bad. How not to cross the line between yourself and others, how not to harm others and make you feel comfortable?
I'm telling.
Think back to the last time you felt like you were being selfish and think: are you ashamed of it?
If yes, then go on:
If the situation was fundamentally unacceptable for you: you were offended, used, forced to do something that you are not want to do, then when making a decision, you were guided by your own interests, you protected yourself from inappropriate relations.
If you don't let other people do bad things to you, even if you have to speak rudely to someone, you shouldn't be ashamed of it! Because someone will understand politely, and someone needs to be said sharply, because otherwise he does not understand.
The simplest example:
If you want to eat potatoes, not pasta, but for 10 years you have been eating them, afraid to tell your wife that you love potatoes, you are doing yourself a bad thing, and your wife may not know that pasta is across your throat. Healthy selfishness will voice your preferences.
Words through the mouth.
And this applies to all areas of life. After all, when you are silent about what you do not like, you ADAPT to the situation, instead of negotiating and defending your interests.
Say: listen, I don't like it, I like it differently, let's do it this way. What do you say?
Another question is if they do not agree with you and you need to defend your interests.
But, if it turns out that you can't get what you want, then at least you've voiced your preferences. The person with whom you are interacting knows that you do not like what is happening and the responsibility for the situation is already on both of you. Moreover, you are no longer in the role of a silent man who endures and is silent. You are in the role of a person who is not satisfied and the attitude towards you will be different.
Agree, it's better than being patient. This is already some step forward and there is a chance that you will get what you want.
Unhealthy selfishness is when you are not ready for dialogue and do not change your decisions, even after hearing iron arguments. When you do not want to know the opinion of others and believe that there is only one truth - yours.
Listen to others and NEGOTIATE, not FIT, the most important moment in the formation of healthy egoism.
Healthy egoism is defending one's interests, the ability to hear and understand the position of another person, and on the basis of this, find a compromise convenient for both.
But, if the issue is acute and the situation is not comfortable for you so much that you cannot stand it, then remember that there is a way out of almost any situation, unless of course you are in captivity.
