There is such a thing as "rescue syndrome". And in fact, there are a lot of people who, it seems, with good intentions, are trying to help someone, advise something, or even solve other people's problems. It turns out that they do good by force, when no one even asks them about it. Does it need to be done?
"Rescuers" are sure that they do good to people because they are loved, because they wish them happiness and all the best. They sincerely believe in this, imposing their own beliefs on their loved ones, what is better to do and how to live better. In fact, this imposition is a rather insidious quality, and it can lead to a deterioration in relations with people, to loss of health and to nervous breakdowns! If you also think that you should help everyone, then this article is for you!
Or maybe you need to take care of yourself, and not rush to save the whole world?
It will be much better if you take care of your own life, concentrate on yourself. Then everyone around will see your success, and will begin to reach out for you. Look, when a person himself is not happy in life, and does not enjoy life, he starts to everything that happens around him to react aggressively, dramatizes a lot, and the problems of others seem to him incredibly scary and complex. So he rushes to help, instead of taking care of his life. And if a person is dissatisfied with his own life, then he has absolutely no resources to help his neighbor.
Stop living in drama!
An example is the relationship between parents and children. Moms and dads, of course, want the best for their offspring, so they interfere in their personal lives, and then they are offended that no one appreciates their help. And it may also happen that children get used to this, and will constantly wait for help from their parents, instead of solving their own problems and taking the initiative. And someday they still have to face all the realities of life, and they suddenly understand how hard it is to do everything, and how cruel the world is. You can offer help, but you shouldn't force it.
Let the people go their own way
Here you are doing good to a person, and what are you waiting for? Most likely that yours will appreciate these impulses? And, if you impose your help and your opinion, it means that you are simply asserting yourself at the expense of others. You are driven by pride, because you suddenly decided that you know how to think, act, live correctly.
You simply do not respect a person, do not allow him to develop on his own, do not appreciate the fact that he wants to do as he sees fit. And you also prevent him from making a mistake, which absolutely everyone has the right to make!
In addition, even if a person agrees with you, he will have an unpleasant feeling in his soul, and this will certainly affect your relationship with him. It turns out that by forcibly helping a person, you waste your strength, energy, resources, and the person does not develop independently.
Stop teaching others
When a person tries to teach others, showing others how to act and how not, he just asserts himself! If a person values himself, then he does not have a craving to teach others the mind of reason. Are you older, smarter, more experienced? Well, and use it all for yourself and your life. Do not climb to others if no one asks you!
It will be much better if you just start to love your neighbors, accept yourself and them, build relationships with others correctly. But what if you still want to help a person? Ask him if he needs your help! Yes, everything is so simple, and there is no need to build a hero and a great rescuer out of yourself!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-ne-nuzhno-nasilno-prichinyat-dobro.html
