There are so many bad things around. And how you want to quickly return to your house, where you are surrounded only by the people closest to you, to a house where you feel emotional security. What is an emotionally safe house? After all, not all of us at home really feel calm, peaceful, protected? To understand what it is and why it is comfortable to live in such a house, I suggest using the usual examples.
What is emotional security at home?
This is when you jump out of the restroom and begin to swear strongly, almost even obscenity, that the toilet is clogged and nothing is flushed. And your four-year-old son, instead of being silent or lying, says: “It's my fault, I threw too much paper in the toilet because I needed a cardboard roller! Forgive me please". And you, instead of yelling at the child, punishing him, forcing him, say, to put away toys, instead of watching cartoons, tell him: “Thank you for telling the truth.”
It's when your teenage daughter calls you from some school trip and cries and says, "Mom, I got caught with alcohol. What will happen now? I do not know what to do". And you, instead of screaming, threatening that the child will be scolded at home and will be punished, tell your daughter: “So, calm down, this is not the end of the world. Who are you with anyway? Are you safe? Don't worry like that, please, everything will be fine!"
This is when you tell your spouse to go and check if your little baby is breathing in the crib, because he has been sleeping for so long already. And he, instead of rolling his eyes, saying that you were inventing something for yourself, that you are crazy and that thoughts are material, he gets up and goes to check. He says: "I'll go and check, let's only discuss later what you're so afraid of." And you talk to him about your fears, and that you are afraid of sudden infant death syndrome. And he hugs you!
This is when your tenth grader tells you that he can’t decide on his future profession in any way, and that he is very afraid of making a mistake in choosing a university. And you, instead of shrugging it off, saying: “You have another year to think. You will have time, you will decide, but remember, your choice is serious, it will affect your life”, hug him and calmly answer: “You can always change your mind. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Through mistakes, we become better. You're growing, and your view can also change.
This is when your older kids plug their ears when their little baby brother screams and says that when he behaves like that, they feel incredible anger. And you, instead of reminding the children that you can’t speak and behave like that, that this is their own brother, just kind of nod your head in understanding and be silent.
This is when you tell your husband that you have become a lot of nervous, and that some situation cannot get out of your head, and he, instead of saying that you need calm down, hugs you carefully and says: “I will always be with you, and I will always give you support, let's discuss what is bothering you, and decide together that we can do".
This is when your husband tells you that he decided to quit, that they survive at work and do not pay him extra, and you, instead of start grumbling that you will have nothing to live on, say: “I will always be on your side, you are not appreciated there, you deserve more."
I think it is clear without further ado why in a house where there is emotional security, one can live calmly and comfortably. After all, life immediately becomes different, problems do not acquire such a global dimension, there is no fear, no anger, but there is a lot of support and love!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/poleznoe/dom-s-emocionalnoj-bezopasnostju-kakoj-on-i-pochemu-v-nem-tak-komfortno-zhit.html
