I share with you my personal view on relationships. I came to these conclusions over time, and now, like an experienced coach, I am happy to tell young families about them. Perhaps this information will be useful to someone.
Immediately after the wedding, it becomes very scary
At first we had love, romance, we both flew from our feelings. But I constantly thought that after years the routine would begin, and I was scared, what if I had a relationship with the wrong person. Such thoughts visit many in the first year of marriage. It’s scary, suddenly nothing will work out, suddenly family life is not what you dreamed about. Of course, in public you will never show your feelings, and inside you will seethe with anxiety. Over time, the fear will pass!
Every person can make mistakes
We all know that it's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are even useful so you can learn from them and gain valuable experience. This is understandable, but when a partner makes a mistake, all normality is immediately forgotten. And this is not about the fact that, say, a partner ate your sweets or forgot about an important anniversary. We are talking about serious mistakes, after which you start to think: this is too much or give a person another chance, he also has the right to make a mistake. Yes, accepting other people's mistakes is much more difficult, and learning from your partner's mistakes is generally unbearable! But, if you still succeed, then you will know Zen!
All people change over the years.
You will not be able to change your partner on purpose, but he can re-educate himself. Perhaps one day you will wake up and realize that you are now living with a completely different person with whom you tied your fate and once exchanged rings. A person can change his beliefs, views, change jobs, lose weight or gain weight. You need to be prepared for this so that there are no surprises later. It's even better to try to change together, it's even very interesting! Unfortunately, sometimes it happens that a person realizes that he does not want to be close to his partner anymore, because sometimes changes are not for the better.
The first place in the family will be a child
How many couples break up after having a baby. After all, children occupy the very first place in the family, the main thing, the most important thing. A loved one fades into the background, there is no romance, passion fades. Of course, your feelings will not go anywhere. They will just be less important than your child. This is true, and you need to prepare for this in advance. The appearance of a child in the family turns the usual life of two lovers upside down.
Nobody needs your sacrifices
No one will really appreciate them, or they will pretend to appreciate them, but, believe me, after a short time everyone will forget about it. Everything that you do for the sake of the family is only of your own free will, and your sacrifices are when you are forced to give up something for the sake of the family. Sometimes it even becomes a habit, a person continues his sacrifices daily, and they are already taken for granted.
Not everyone is happy in marriage the same way.
We were even happy in different ways in different years. Moreover, one should never compare two separate families. We read articles about family life, but when we encounter some difficulties, no information helps much. Moreover, the advice of your parents, friends and other people who are sure that they know how to act will not be worth anything. You need to cope and search for your happiness on your own.
Living together 10 years is not enough
It seems at the beginning of a relationship that 10 years is already a decent date. And then, when you cross this line, you will understand that in fact it is very little! After 10 years, your relationship will become stronger, love is a little different, serious and strong. And I am sure that after 15, 25 and even 30 years it will seem to you that everything is ahead of you.
All happiness and prosperity!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/7-vyvodov-k-kotorym-ya-prishla-spustya-10-let-braka.html
