How often can you now meet women who sigh bitterly, realizing that their beloved sweet sons have grown into such irresponsible men. They grab their heads, realizing that their sons are completely unfamiliar with the word independence, they are somehow weak, soft, tender. Yes, you will marry such a person, and you will definitely not feel protected.
But I will tell all these sighing mummies that you are to blame for everything! You yourself turn your sons into sissies, and then you do not understand why they are so irresponsible. You blow away dust particles from them all their childhood, and then you want them to change instantly? Do you need your sons next to you to be white and fluffy, weak and obedient, and men outside your house? This will not happen!
I recently saw such a picture on the street. An elderly woman is walking, dragging heavy bags behind her, sighing, barely moving, but rushing. I felt so sorry for her, so I approached and offered her help, asking if she really had no helpers. And she calmly replied that she has two sons under 30, they are just now very busy at their computers. And no, they do not work for them, but play. Mom will bring home bags with food, then they will come off the monitors to check that they have brought delicious food.
And the most cherished dream of this woman is that her loafers would get married as soon as possible and move away from her. There is no sense from them, they have grown irresponsible, they do not help in any way, they do not work. And this would-be mother is completely unaware of her guilt. She herself turned her sons into such sissies. And she does not at all understand that now she can ruin the lives of others, because someday these two will get married, and even then their wives will suffer. Mom did not teach her sons to respect and love a woman, and then she will still complain everywhere that her daughters-in-law do not properly look after her blood.
I remember how one friend told me how she washes her socks behind her growing boys and hangs them up herself. She said that they didn't know how to cook with her, they couldn't even fry eggs and cook dumplings. Who is to blame for this? After all, the mother herself sets herself up as some kind of cook, cleaner, service personnel. She herself inspires her sons that cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing - all this is not a man's business. And what is masculine? Going to war on your computer?
And if from a very young age you treat your son like a man? Then, after all, he will really be able to understand that the mother is not some kind of servant, but the closest and dearest person who must be respected, loved and appreciated!
And it also happens that a mother is very afraid of losing her son. Well, like he gets married, and can fly away from her. Then she allows him to live with her in the same apartment with his wife. And she binds him to herself initially, since childhood, suppresses the masculine principle in him, does not allow him to develop. And then he will bring such a powerful woman into the house, who will control him in everything. He is used to the fact that everyone is doing for him, because he himself cannot do anything!
Mothers raise their own sons to be irresponsible. They deprive them of choice, instill in them lack of initiative, weak character, and laziness. Then the growing son either grows up without striving to conquer something and achieve something, or becomes aggressive and rude in order to be able to resist the mother. The first option is a mommy's son and a mumbler, the second is a misogynist and a tyrant.
What to do?
Stop patronizing! Allow you to hone your independence alone. Never extinguish independence in your child. If a boy says: “I myself,” this is his right, let him do it, let him study.
Can moms devote more time to themselves and other family members? Pay more attention to your daughters, husbands, take care of your appearance, do your favorite activities? Follow the example of animals! They take care of their offspring only up to a certain age, teach children the necessary skills, and then release them from the "family nest"!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-materi-sobstvennymi-rukami-prevrashhajut-synovej-v-bezotvetstvennyh.html
