Not all grown-up children have a warm relationship with their parents. Sometimes it happens that people do not want to visit their fathers and mothers at all. Because of this, parents feel indifference towards themselves, become very upset, and generally do not understand why this is happening in their family. Why do others have frequent family meetings with children, trusting relationships, and everything in general is just fine? Psychologists say that the reasons for the hatred of grown-up children towards their parents are rooted in childhood.
This is why children have negative attitudes towards their parents:
The opinions of children and parents often differ. But parents, thinking that they are older and smarter, as well as using their authority, consider it generally stupid to listen to the opinion of their children. They are not interested in him at all.
Parents do not want to admit that their children have grown up, have become adults with a formed character, and it is useless to re-educate them. It's already late! Parents can reproach children for suddenly changing, and they are not ready to accept them for who they are.
Even parents treat an adult child as if he were small. They read lectures to him, point out how he should act, and how not, they fixate on negative qualities of his character in childhood, remember his mistakes, and do not even consider it necessary to be proud of him achievements.
Families also have tough times. An elderly mother may think that the child harbored a grudge against her because she divorced his father, or an older father thinks that the child is angry that he once married another woman. Because of this, it is very difficult for old people to communicate with their grown children. But you can just talk heart to heart, understand that the child does not hold grudges, and the relationship can improve!
Parents are not ready to accept the fact that their children can have their own life, goals and principles. They may not accept the position of children on a particular issue, impose their opinion, condemn. But, if children really need help from their parents, they will simply turn to them!
Parents do not feel the boundaries of the child. They want to be aware of all the affairs of their child. Sometimes parents start asking tactless questions about something personal, but after all, it is so uncomfortable to talk about many topics with fathers and mothers! And it turns out that mom or dad pesters the child with some unpleasant questions, and he starts to get nervous and answers with rudeness. But this is just a way to protect your borders.
Although parents listen to their children, they do not hear them! Here the daughter comes to her mother, begins to share something with her, but she can interrupt in the middle of the story, or she immediately imposes her opinion. Pretty unpleasant, isn't it? When a child is small, the parent does not want to be a normal interlocutor for him, so what does he expect in old age?
The situation when the parents have not one child, but two, three, etc. And in controversial moments they always take the side of one of the others. But this is wrong!
Parents, in order to somehow improve relations with their children, begin to turn to the help of completely strangers. As a result, they devote others to their personal problems, thereby only exacerbating the situation.
A mother or father does not allow their children to make independent decisions, they control their every step.
To build relationships with your children, you need to become a friend to them. And it is better not to make such mistakes, so as not to face hatred and loneliness in old age.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/10-prichin-pochemu-vzroslye-deti-mogut-nenavidet-svoih-roditelej.html
