We are all a little jealous of our other halves, because we do not want someone else to encroach on them. Many people say that jealousy is not love, or rather love, but not for a partner, but for oneself. And jealousy is also possessiveness, especially if it has no reason at all. Today we are talking about such a pathological feeling. What if a man is jealous? To rejoice or to run without looking back?
I know women who are very pleased with their partner's jealousy, they perceive it precisely as love, they feel themselves a value that they are so afraid of losing. It's a shame if a man doesn't care at all, right?
So jealousy can be divided into 2 parts.
- Pathological. It is associated with paranoia. Here he will not only be jealous of you, in addition to everything else, he will have other twists. Friends laugh at him behind his back, colleagues want to sit up, his state is bad, everyone around him wants to humiliate, offend, harm him. There is usually some kind of conspiracy involved, and you, too, are at the same time with everyone!
- Traumatic. And this jealousy, which is an echo of his past. Let's say a woman cheated on him in a previous relationship. Or he caught his mother with her lover in childhood, who, accordingly, cheated on her father. Or he pulled a friend out of the noose, to whom his wife also instructed the horns. By the way, injuries may not be about treason, but about the destruction of trust.
But that slight jealousy that arises in a man when you walk arm in arm with him, and looked at you a passer-by, or when you are on the phone talking to your male colleague while smiling, this is not at all jealousy. This is a kind of protection of the territory, like: “I saw what, right? And now he removed his hands, she is mine! " or "I will not give you to anyone." This has nothing to do with pre-seizure jealousy. This can be considered the norm!
So, if a man's jealousy begins to scare you, then it is better to advise him to contact a specialist. You are not a psychiatrist, but his beloved woman. Why does he accuse you of treason if you haven't even thought of anything like that? Why does he humiliate you with his jealousy, even though you never gave him a reason? No need to wait for him to strangle you with a cord from the iron, once again being jealous of some pillar!
It should be understood that a man with traumatic jealousy and the sufferer himself is still the same. He feels bad from himself. He may even experience panic attacks, is prone to affect and loss of self-control. But he perfectly knows how to control his woman. And in everything! It all starts with a ban on going to a party with friends. But if you give him free rein and allow himself to be controlled, everything will immediately start even worse. “Throw out this short skirt”, “Remove someone from your friends there”, “Don't talk to this”, etc.
The jealousy of the traumatic person sometimes decreases, he becomes adequate, but the reason itself does not disappear. And the cause of his suffering is fear. He is afraid that “they will be deceived again”, “all women are like that”, “they will cheat on me too, like everyone else”.
He has limited your circle of friends, he is sure that there are no attractive males at your work, but suddenly you meet someone on your way home! And he begins to increase control, and if you resist, rage attacks arise.
In this case, the man must be brought to a psychotherapist. Don't expect him to change, don't think that jealousy is a manifestation of his love and adoration for you. This is a manifestation of his fear, and he may even do stupid things. Until he sincerely believes in your loyalty to him, until it comes to him that you are not catching men on the street due to the fact that you have a "skirt to the floor, eyes to the floor", but because you have chosen and love only him alone, he is even for you dangerous!
What do you think about jealous people? Should you run away from this or rejoice in the manifestation of his jealousy?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/revnivyj-muzhchina-radovatsya-ili-bezhat.html
