How to deal with childhood depression

Speaking about stress and depression, we most often think of an adult audience, because the negative states of the psyche of large people are understandable and justified: a hard life, a lot of work and other suffering. However, do not forget that children are subject to negative feelings no less than ourselves, and their sorrows also have a right to exist. In this case, sedative pills are ineffective, and it is foolish to hope that this condition will pass by itself or the child will outgrow. How to recognize childhood depression and what to do with it, she told us child psychologist Irina Nikitina.

7-10 years old

Most often, children 7-10 years old are susceptible to depression - at this time the child is just getting used to the school system. There is nothing surprising in this, because before school, the younger generation is brought up in a free environment, after which immediately and gets into a tough environment for a long time: rules, discipline, constant assessment, a new style of communication with adults and children. Whatever one may say, but school life causes stress and shock in the child, sometimes the kid cannot fit into the team in any way and suffers a lot.

This stress may not be noticeable right away. At first, the child tries to cope with the situation himself, but at some point he sees its hopelessness and his own helplessness. And the stress gets worse. The first alarming symptom is sudden mood swings. At this moment, a sense of security and parental support are very important for the child. If they do not notice his problems, brush them off or do not take them seriously, the situation is aggravated and a mental disorder begins to develop, it is also depression.

If something does not work out for the child, and the parents aggravate the situation with thoughtless remarks, he begins to worry a lot. This often leads to severe stress. Everything usually happens like this: a cute and sympathetic kid suddenly begins to be rude to the teacher, to fight with classmates, refuses to do homework, giggles on the test, provokes a scandal and in a million more ways tries to express protest. Further along the knurled: teachers complain and accuse, parents burn out with shame in the teacher's room and begin to scold the child or more rigidly control his life. In addition, they hang accusatory labels, do not take the side of the child.

It turns out a vicious circle: the child does everything to be heard, but he feels that they are turning away from him, lowers his hands and becomes indifferent. Further - more: he ceases to share experiences and react to anything, because he knows that his parents do not care about him. There is a response and the phrase “I don’t care” appears, which becomes almost the only answer to any suggestions. Nothing gives him pleasure, childish spontaneity disappears, sadness and isolation appear.

10+ years

The next dangerous moment comes after elementary school. The child has just adapted to school, got used to the teacher, and now new teachers appear. And it is not a fact that good relations will develop with each of them. Fear and stress reappear, with all the ensuing consequences. At this moment, it is very important for parents to tell their child about their love, to hug him.

14+ years

Remaining dependent on parents, the child already considers himself an adult. The importance of belonging to a group comes to the fore, and if something does not work out with it, the feeling of hopelessness and meaninglessness of life can even end in suicide.

“There was an illustrative case in my practice. For six meetings in a row, a 14-year-old child sat silently with his back turned to me. At every meeting I told him approximately the same thing: "You can ask for help, and I will always help you." For the seventh time, in response to my proposal, I heard: "Help me die." This was the first thing that a person said when he started to trust me, "

- says Irina Nikitina.

During the conversation, it became clear: knowing that the body was dying, not the soul, he believed that after the end of this life he could be born into another family, where he would be loved and understood. More often than not, desperate children want to leave this world in order to be reborn in a new, full of love. At the same time, the last straw that pushes them to leave can be anything, but the reason will always be only one thing - the lack of a feeling of love and understanding from others. At the same time, younger students are still ready to accept the changes, but adolescents are no longer looking for support from anyone - they begin to act, and this is dangerous.

 Character or stress?

When observing the withdrawal of your child, it is important to distinguish a manifestation of character from a symptom of stress. After all, there are children who feel quite comfortable without a team, noise and dancing. In this case, you shouldn't talk about depression. But if the behavior changes dramatically over the course of one or two weeks and the playful baby turns into a tyrant, and then into an indifferent beech or sad Pierrot, it is worth talking to the child. If you do not pay attention and hope that everything will go away, the condition will only get worse, and after a month alone it will be more difficult to help the problem by talking: you will have to ask for help from a child psychologist and a child psychiatrist. And you don't need to be afraid

How to help a child

In difficult situations, you must not give up - you need to act.

Speak with the language of feelings

All children live by feelings. Try to understand the states that your child experiences in a difficult situation and tell him about it: “I I understand how you felt when the teacher scolded you "or" When I was your age, I also often suffered in school ".

Fresh air

Applied techniques work well with any stressful conditions: drawing, modeling from clay and plasticine. However, in a depressed state, the child most often does not touch either clay or paints. In such a grave condition, there is one simple but faithful helper - fresh air. In stress, the tone of the body is disturbed, and in addition to emotional reactions, physiological ones also appear: lethargy, drowsiness, insomnia, lack of appetite, soreness, and even susceptibility viruses. These conditions can greatly facilitate walking in the fresh air.

In addition, walking in nature, we observe life with the child. And this is what you need when it seems that it is over. The more kind people around the child, the easier it is for him to get out of his state. The same effect will be obtained from exercising in the pool. A camera is also useful. Give it to the child - let him remove whatever he likes. In addition to aesthetic pleasure, there is a more important point in such therapy - the need to focus attention, which awakens interest, and then a thirst for life. Cartoons and films with a life-affirming plot will strengthen the mood.

Agro-faunotherapy

A good method of reviving the thirst for life is by germinating the seeds and observing the development of the sprout. The same effect will be from the shown care for the smaller brothers: you can feed the pigeons, take on bail a stray kitten or a yard dog. The main goal: to show the child all aspects of life and to bring out of the vicious circle "home-school".

It will also be interesting for you to read:

Symptoms of Depression in Young Children

TOP 5 signs of latent depression in a child

STOP phrases for communicating with a depressed person