Do you agree that both are to blame for the spat? Or is one always more? The answers to the following questions will help you decide whether to save your relationship or it is better to end it.
"You can't leave." Where do you put the comma? / istockphoto.com
"You can't leave." Where do you put the comma? / istockphoto.com
1. What are your expectations for love?
Yes, yes, it's about waiting, not about what happened as a result of a long relationship. Most of the quarrels and misunderstandings occur from the fact that we impose demands on our partner, incommensurate with his capabilities. We expected that he, like a prince, would ride a white horse and save us from everyday difficulties, but he turned out to be an eco-activist and against the exploitation of animals, so he rides a bicycle. Here comes the disappointment of the century.
2. What do you want to get rid of?
You can leave your partner, but you can't hide from yourself. Therefore, it is important to understand what exactly takes you for a living? Perhaps these are some manifestations of your companion's emotions that you forbid yourself? If you don't sort it out with yourself, then neither a breakup, let alone a new relationship, will solve the main problem.
Analyze yourself and your expectations before blaming / istockphoto.com
3. How prepared are you for being alone?
If you have a fear that you will be left alone, you will not be able to cope with life's difficulties, no one you do not meet a suitable one, then, most likely, you are in a codependent relationship, and they need to be stopped as soon as possible quicker.
4. What is your attitude to infidelity?
Psychologist Myra Viege advises not to be categorical - treason - means a divorce! And try to understand your partner and see if you yourself made a mistake that led to this turn of events?
5. How will you feel when you know your partner has one day to live?
It might be a little harsh, but it’s sobering enough to rethink your feelings for the person with whom you have walked hand in hand for quite some time. And do not cross out everything with a momentary influx of emotions.
6. Are you ready for self-reliance?
During the relationship, you could already get so used to some of your partner's actions that you stopped attaching importance to them. But now you have to do everything yourself. Even such a small thing as hammering a nail or picking up children from school. Everyone here can substitute their own.
7. Will you be able to prefer your happiness to someone else's sadness?
Putting your interests first is not selfishness at all, but healthy care for yourself, and thus for those around you. After all, if you are unhappy in marriage, but continues to live together for the sake of children, then they read the unconscious mindset: you need to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of some higher interests. Do you think these children will become happy adults?
Tolerate for the sake of children is not the best reason for maintaining a relationship / istockphoto.com
When deciding whether to put a full stop or a comma in a relationship, rely only on yourself, because you know the situation best from the inside. And it's up to you to deal with the consequences of your decision.
You will also be interested to read:
5 reasons why women are lonely after a failed marriage
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How to Save a Marriage: Secrets of EFT Therapy
