Olya Polyakova: “What Masha does,

Recently, the 16-year-old daughter of the famous singer Olya Polyakova Masha went out on the path of shocking. Then she sings songs with obscenities at a concert of her punk-rock band "Shvy". That takes a photo with a "beaten" face or with a cross on his forehead. Young people in the comments mostly support Masha. But older people were divided in opinion. Someone praises her for her courage and creativity, but the majority speaks out negatively. Like, it is useless for such a young girl to behave like that and where her parents are looking.

Olya Polyakova did not remain silent and came out to defend her daughter. First, she recorded a video in which she "commented on the commentators" as follows:

“I can't say that I strongly support mats in songs. But if you listened, at least inquired about what your children are listening to, you would be very surprised. Because what Masha does is just fairy tales for children compared to what young people listen to today. It is developing in this direction. This is her right. I may not be on her side. But I will always support her. What I wish for you and your children. She will still show you, believe me! ".

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And then the singer also wrote a post on her Facebook page about how important it is to support children:

“When you start visiting a psychotherapist, it turns out that everything that moves you in life is proof to your parents or one of the parents that you are worth something. On the one hand, it is the engine of one's own progress. On the other hand, it instills in you a feeling of anxiety that accompanies you all the time, aggression, self-flagellation, apathy... And all you had to do was get a drop of support and love from your loved ones... Do not deprive your children of what can interfere, to plant a gaping wound in their souls that they will have to drown out all their lives, let's just love. "

Between the lines it is read that Olya in her childhood did not receive enough support and now tries not to repeat the mistakes of her parents: she supports Masha always and in everything.

How to support children: the opinion of a psychologist

Is it enough to “just love” children in order for them to grow up to be good, adequate people? Do they really need to be supported always and in everything? With these questions, we turned to psychologist Olga Perekopayko.

According to the expert, now many modern parents make a big mistake - they position themselves as friends for their children.

«But a parent is not a friend. This is a person who is wiser, who must show the child the framework in this life, as possible and as impossible, - the psychologist considers. - And when a teenager begins to behave destructively - cursing, showing aggression in every possible way - it is important for parents not to support this, but to figure out why he behaves this way. What he lacks is that he decides to express himself in this way. It's normal for a person to experiment as a teenager. You can dye your hair purple or your nails black. But it's not normal when he allows himself to swear in public. And the task of the parent is to explain this to him. If he supports this, it means that the child understands for himself that he is doing everything correctly, and further his destructive behavior can only gain momentum. "

The expert also draws attention to the fact that when a child begins to behave destructively (draws bruises on his face, tries on on himself the image of a vampire, sings about murder - all these are vivid examples of aggressive behavior), then perhaps this is his cry about help. He can thus, for example, resist physical or psychological violence in the family. When parents "press", they force to do something through "I don't want".

The flip side of the coin: when a child is not supported

If Olya Polyakova is ready to support her children always and in everything, then there are parents who, on the contrary, devalue their children's hobbies. And they then carry this offense through their whole lives. This happened with the famous director and screenwriter Quentin Tarantino. Due to the fact that his mother once called his work "shit", now he does not give her a cent.

After reading this story, many parents are now turning to psychologists on how to prevent the same mistake as Tarantino's mother.

“Tarantino doesn't give his mom money and is proud of it. Because she said something wrong when he was a teenager. I did not appreciate, did not support the talent. Moreover, she gave birth at 16 and raised one. No, she says, she has a pitchfork in Miami, let him know. Guess what question was asked to me today two times three times? Please comment on how parents should not make such mistakes, ”

- writes the famous psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya.

Olga Perekopayko says that it is important to support the hobbies of your children, if they are not destructive in nature, correspond to socially accepted norms of behavior.

“At the same time, it is important to lead the child to some goal. Don't just do it, but let's be the best so that he hones his skills. Remember the phrase: talent needs to be helped, mediocrity will break through by itself. So help your talent. Talk with the teacher of the circle, the coach, what are the chances of the child, what needs to be done in order for him to achieve the best results. This will be support not only in word, but also in deed ”,

- the psychologist advises.

It will also be interesting for you to read:

Children's fantasies and "wishes": when to support a child, and when to forbid

30 Affirmations Children Should Hear