The son of Margarita Sichkar Vitaly just turned 19. A handsome, talented, intelligent guy, in whom the external beauty is not inferior to the internal one. Margarita gave advice on how to raise such a son
1. Give him the opportunity to spoil the amount of things that he will spoil anyway. If you get upset every time your boy comes home with dirty and torn clothes, you will be in a hopeless struggle. Do not waste energy on anger in front of inevitability - boys learn about the world, climbing trees and fences, jumping into puddles, spilling and falling. This is the order of things.
2. Give him something to release energy - drums, a punching bag, open space, water, or a dog. Give him something so that he can “freak out” and “go crazy” - or he will use something of yours, which can then be very sorry.
3. Give him the opportunity to help others. There is a big difference between giving an opportunity to help and getting help. To give an opportunity is to kindle a fire in the heart, which one day will turn into a big fire and illuminate the whole world. Be an example yourself - help each other and help others.
4. Explain to him that practice helps him achieve perfection. This applies not only to sports or music, but to everything in life.
5. Develop the right habits to help a grown man handle everything in life with ease.
6. Answer him when he asks "Why?" Answer him or seek the answer together. Show him where you can find the answer (ask your dad, grandparents or find it on the Internet). Ask him a counter question, so that he himself begins to think. If he is ever too embarrassed to ask you something, he will know where to look for the answer.
Margarita's son Vitaly recently turned 19 / Facebook
7. Teach your son to verbalize what he is feeling. A toddler may scream with despair, hide from embarrassment, bite with excitement, and cry with fear. Explain to him that these are emotions that dictate how the body should behave. As he grows up, he will know the difference between anger and embarrassment, between disappointment and grief, learn to cope with his emotions and express them competently.
8. Get carried away by his interests - learn all the intricacies of football and learn the names of his favorite team. Learn all the songs of your favorite band, understand the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or learn to draw pandas... Be an active participant in his life, and not an outside observer.
9. Go outside together. Turn off the TV, turn off video games, put the phone on the charger and move the camera away. Just go outside and follow your child, look at him, investigate his reactions, ask questions. It looks like magic, try it.
Be your child's biggest fan. Most likely, you will embarrass your son more than once by starting to perform songs of his school rock band or showing his children. photographs for girls, collect the most stupid certificates, awards and achievements, write in his blog that he has problems at school and so Further. Most likely, one day he will tell you: "Stop it, mom, stop." But he will know that there is at least one person who ALWAYS cheers for him.
10. Teach your son to clean up, cook, wash socks, and iron shirts. He may never need it, but one day his wife will be grateful to you.
11. Read to him and with him. Children become readers on their parents' lap. The child should see that you are reading too. Tell him about your favorite books and characters. Explain to him why it is so important to read, and read together, and then discuss, think out, fantasize, draw your favorite fairy tales - teach him to express a point of view.
12. Encourage him to dance! Music, rhythm and dance are a universal language that everyone understands. Free control of your body is a necessary skill for harmonious development.
13. Make sure he has examples of good people in front of him - smart, courageous, strong, talented, and honest. Tell him about great writers, travelers, researchers, scientists, artists, photographers. About how they lived and what it cost them to achieve success. And that internal beauty is often more important than external.
14. Teach your son good manners: saying "thank you" and "please", shaking hands with women, offering help, giving way, etc. It will make the world around you better.
15. Give him something to believe. Your boy will often feel fear or anxiety, pain or grief, or simply need you when you are not around. Give him something he can turn to when he feels lonely so he knows he will never be alone. Never.
16. Teach him that sometimes you have to be very gentle - to small children, animals, plants and the feelings of other people.
17. Let him lose. As much as you want, your child will not be able to be a winner forever. And this is good, because sometimes life gives out such twists and turns, from which we do our best to protect our children. But this practice will be useful to him later, when he loses again (and again, and again, and again ...). Teach him that sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. But that doesn't mean giving up.
18. Let dad teach him the most important things. If you allow your dad to be immersed in the process of raising a child from the very beginning, someday your son will form the right opinion: his dad knows everything in the world. You will always be a beloved mom, but dad for a boy is a special person who knows the answers to all questions.
19. Build a fortress for him. Throw cushions on the floor, move chairs to each other, throw a couple of blankets over them - and your living room will turn into a "cave of miracles." It is an important knowledge that every ordinary thing has an inner potential to become magical.
20. Kiss and hug him! Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are very loving and gentle. They can be harsh, wild and destructive all day long, but there are times when they are very kind, gentle and sensitive. Do not be afraid to grow a sissy out of him - boys really need love!
You will also be interested to read:
World education: how children are raised in different countries
Screaming and not hiding the truth: Reese Witherspoon on parenting
