We have been friends with Vika since childhood, and now we have not stopped communicating. But, as always happens, as soon as a person's status changes, his social circle also changes. Almost all of our company is married / married with children. And Vika never got any kids. Either she was looking for a suitable candidate, then she studied, then she built a career, and now she is already over 30, she used to freak out when asked about children, and then declared herself childfree.
About a couple of centuries ago, the level of quality of contraception established the rule - if you have sex, you have children. An adult without children was considered either unhealthy or sexually unattractive. Such people were pitying. Now everything has changed. Nobody points a finger at a woman over 30, saying: how is it, why there are no children? No, of course, there are kind people who poke at it like a kitten in a puddle, but basically no one cares. And a person without children is not considered unattractive and sick.
So before we always came to visit Vika with the whole family, but now she does not even invite us. If I invite her to meet, he calls me alone, without the children, or offers to chat somewhere in a cafe, and also without children.
That is why my friend does not accept families with children at home. Further with her words!
Reason one
“Mothers do not want to understand that their children are not a heavenly gift. It is for them they are angels, and for strangers - screaming, pooping and eternally interfering with backgnaws. I do not want this love imposed on me. I don’t need to tell you how beautiful your Andryushenka is, and what an excellent student you have. I don’t care, I don’t have to be happy, touched, and I don’t have to listen to all this!
Once a business colleague came to me and brought her four-year-old son with her. Why should I have instant love for a child I don't know? Why should I communicate with him, he is a stranger to me, albeit a small one. "
Reason two
“Not all parents give their children the right upbringing. Yes, what can I say, many adults themselves need to be educated. And why should I endure all this. A friend came with a baby to visit, and he painted wallpaper for me, frayed all the nerves of my cat, poured a mug of tea into the aquarium, dropped the player. And the mother smiled at all this and threw up her hands - the child is the same. I didn’t ask to come to me with the child, I invited her to chat, drink tea, why, instead, should I be tense all evening, and shake for my property? ”.
Reason three
“During some gatherings, my daughter of my girth ruined my headphones and curtains in the hall for me. She just took the scissors and shredded everything! And then she smeared the TV with chocolate, and fed my poor dog with sweets. And who is responsible for all these antics? I tried to tell my mother everything, but she told me that this is a child, there is nothing to leave things in prominent places! That is, no one compensated me for the damage, and even they made me feel guilty. So, I no longer trust children who only pretend to be cute! "
Vicki's social circle has narrowed, but she does not despair. As you understand, she has a full house of animals, she has a beloved man, she earns good money, goes in for sports and self-development. I calmly accept her decision not to have children, and resigned myself to the fact that she had not seen my children for a long time. She is not obliged to communicate with them, for me these are my children - the best creatures on the planet, and she has a different attitude to this. And this is her decision!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/zhizn/3-prichiny-pochemu-moya-podruga-bolshe-ne-priglashaet-menya-v-gosti-i-drugie-semi-s-detmi-tozhe.html
