Very often I meet people in my life who help their relatives. No, I'm not talking about those who carry gifts to brothers and sisters and partially provide for their parents. I'm a little about other help. Somehow it turns out that even in their youth, people quickly get on their feet, begin to pay for their relatives their needs, and in the end this help turns into constant, and relatives just sit on neck.
So it happened with Vasily. He grew up in an incomplete family, Vasily's mother divorced his alcoholic father and moved to her village. They began to live with their grandparents. From childhood, Vasya understood what it is when there is no money, so he promised himself that he would definitely achieve everything in life.
Vasily's mother never worked; grandparents lived on retirement. Then Vasily went to the army, returning, began to develop his business, and help his grandparents support the whole family. Then my grandfather died, the money became less. Mom still was in no hurry to work, everything suited her. By the way, she didn't really do anything at home, but she loved to spend money very much.
Vasily began to earn good money, his grandmother's pension also became quite good, because she worked for many years in some kind of heavy production. Then Vasily met Nadezhda, fell head over heels in love, the couple began to live together. And all the same, Vasily gave a considerable amount of money to his mother every month, supported her. Then Nadia became pregnant, the couple had to take out a mortgage to provide themselves with housing. Vasily was forced to stop paying for his mother, who was so happy to live with his grandmother on retirement, they even managed to save it. The woman never thought about work. I constantly found some excuses, just not to work.
And then Nadezhda had a baby, by that time her grandmother had died, her mother began to go to vacant places to get a job. But she deliberately found some kind of dirty tricks in employers and in enterprises: "Everyone here works by pull", "There you have to plow for days for a penny." Two times Vasily put his mother in, but she did not last more than a week, found a reason to quit.
And all this time, while my mother was "in search", Vasily had to help her at least a little. And manipulations began on her part. Nowhere to work, I want to eat, let's pay, I'm your mother, I'm sick, I can't go for an interview. Then it began even harder - threats to suicide, tears, tantrums, and even coming to work to Vasily.
Nadezhda did not sit idle either. Until the age of one and a half, her son received good maternity leave. But it takes a lot for kids. Then she found some part-time job on the Internet, the money is not great, but she could not rush to kindergarten and work, but be with the baby at home. In principle, everything in the family more or less leveled off in terms of finances, and three of them were enough. But the needs of the mother grew and grew every day. Vasily gave her money for food, she spent on beautiful blouses and cosmetics, Vasily gave money to pay for utilities, but my mother again spent everything only on her whims.
This has been going on for 6 years. Soon the son of Vasily and Nadezhda needs to get ready for school. Nadia is pregnant with her second baby. Pregnancy is not going well, you need to drink a lot of vitamins and medicines. And the needs of Mamani Vasily do not end there. She asks and asks for everything, and if not, she cries and curses, threatens to leave for the next world.
And Vasily's mother constantly insults Nadia, because it was she who took her "son" from her, thereby cutting off the cash flow. The grandmother even stopped coming to her grandson, although she is always invited, because "there is this Nadya."
How much can you help relatives? Is Vasily obliged to do this? His mother is not yet 50 years old, and she pretends to be a grandmother who needs help. What do you say, how will we advise Vasily to do?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/nadoelo-pomogat-rodstvennikam-skolko-mozhno.html