How to distinguish love from falling in love?

Let's try to make out some very similar feelings that are mistaken for love.

To begin with, we confuse these emotions because of the hormones that are released into the blood when we see a person close to us:

Oxytocin - attachment hormone

Endorphin - the hormone of serenity

Dopamine is a pleasure hormone

Serotonin - the hormone of happiness

Adrenaline is a stress hormone

Testosterone is a hormone of passion

In the next article, I will describe in more detail how these hormones affect our behavior and relationships with the outside world. What changes when one of the hormones is released to a greater or lesser extent.

In the meantime, let's figure it out and learn to identify real feelings and turn on the brains when we enter into a relationship, in order to avoid disappointment due to incorrect conclusions in the future.

1. Let's start with being in love.
   
   This is a kind of floating-sweet state, when the whole world seems to you so beautiful and benevolent, you are in love and your serotonin and dopamine release is off the charts, especially if your soul mate is next to you. You do not see flaws in a person, it seems to you that you have an ideal in front of you. These feelings differ from love in that love presupposes acceptance of a person as he is, but not healthy euphoria is gone. You think soberly!
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1. Next, let's look at passion.
   
   This is an emotional uplift and a desire to move mountains, to do everything possible for the subject of your burning feelings. Testosterone speaks in you, it gives courage, "recklessness" and a feeling of absolute superiority over any problem, especially if your chosen one (chosen one) is next to you. You are ready to do anything, well, or a lot. to stay with that person as much and often as possible. But, unfortunately, this is not love either. When you love, you do not want a person passionately, you know how to live without him, but you are glad to be around, without fanaticism and inappropriate behavior!
2. The next item is addiction.
   
   Dependent relationships are far from uncommon in couples who have been together for a long time. This type of interaction is due to the release of the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for attachment, and endorphin, which is responsible for resting. In such pairs, people are so merged with each other that they cannot imagine their life without a second half and other people are not interesting to them. Usually in a couple, one of the partners has such an attitude towards the other. Love, in turn, does not imply dissolution in each other, love lets go and trusts, and does not hold and is afraid to lose.
3. And the last thing is a habit.
   
   The most common behavior between partners who have been living together for more than 5 years. Hormones do not work here already, but the part of the brain that is responsible for rituals works. And since any mentally healthy person simply needs stability, such a relationship is very often confused with love. But, love does not imply the need to live with a person in a habit. Love is a feeling that only grows stronger over the years, sometimes changes, but always transforms into something more serious and makes people closer.

So. The main question is, what is love?

Love is the release of the entire spectrum of the above hormones at an adequate level, without white tinnitus and rose-colored glasses clouding your mind.
When you see a person, you are not fascinated by him, you understand and accept him, love him as he is, without building illusions and sand castles. You make his world a better place, and he is yours. Without violence, addictions and passions.
You are calm, serene and happy, trust each other and, being at a distance, do not torment yourself with doubts, but you feel calm, knowing that you are loved and that your love does not depend on hormones, since you have already passed the stages of candy bouquets and learned to distinguish emotions from mind.

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