Children and parents should not be equal. As for me, this idea of equality can lead to mental disorders in children. Well, how can a child be equal to an adult? This will only happen when there is equality of opportunity. In other words, when your child gets up and goes to do something, starts to work, can take responsibility for his own actions - then he will become your equal. If your offspring does not want to understand this, then in the future he will face many troubles in life.
The very initial goal of raising your child is to teach him 3 things, simple but very important:
- The child must learn to independently regulate his own needs and his emotions, without anyone's help.
- The child should be able to provide for himself and his own needs, without the help of someone.
- The child must know how to realize himself in society, without outside help.
And that's all, that's all education, and everything else is the usual lyrics, background. You parents are responsible for teaching your child this! Leaving aside other skills that you teach your child, like eating food and cleaning toys on their own, these are all there, but they are self-evident! Much more important are the 3 things mentioned above!
There is inequality between parents and children! And it is this awareness that motivates the development of skills. While the child thinks that he is on an equal footing with you, he will not get up and go to achieve something, to do something, to strive for something.
Until a child begins to realize these 3 things on his own, he will not become an equal to his parents. However, it is worth noting that inequality can continue to persist if parents continue to grow and develop. After all, the opinion of parents who continue to develop, to learn and learn something, will always weigh more than the opinion of the child.
If a child does not respect the wisdom and experience of a person, if he does not listen to a parent who has more skills and knowledge, then he is showing outright rudeness. And because of this, he will then have problems in the future. Parents and children are unequal, period!
You parents should also understand this, and get the idea of equality with children out of your minds. You are doing them a disservice. You give the children the illusion that they have the same authority as you do. But this is not so, this is complete nonsense.
Teach your child only 3 things so that by the age of 21, he will be aware of some of the rules of life:
- In this world, no one owes anything to anyone.
- In fact, in life, qualities such as giftedness and uniqueness, unfortunately, have almost no weight. Such qualities simply develop pride in a person.
- Weight is given to a person by his skills and abilities. The first thing that he should be able to do is to properly build communication with people, as well as be able to sell his own services and goods.
- Whoever pays can set the rules.
- It is rudeness to try to become equal with the one who solves problems for you, with the one who pays for you. If you want to set your own rules, start paying.
- Authority will not fall from the sky, it must be earned by contributing to a common cause.
- It is always necessary to develop, today, here and now, then development will proceed as quickly and fruitfully as possible. If you wait for a convenient moment, suitable conditions for development, put it off for later - this will lead to degradation. If a child wants to quickly become the master of his own life, he must accept the conditions of the game as they are. Take along with problems and limitations!
We all want good for our children, but it is a mistake to think that the idea of equality is a great way of parenting. You yourself push your child away from success and development, and your authority does not grow, and respect for you does not grow either!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/3-veshhi-kotorym-vazhno-nauchit-svoego-rebenka.html
