Life is unpredictable, and not everyone follows stereotypes. For example, there are women who did not build family happiness until the age of 40. They are lonely, but they are more comfortable this way. Here are some rules of loneliness that one woman told in anonymity.
The rules of being alone when you're over 40
Life is very interesting
Already at the age of 20 I began to assume that I might not get married. I had fans, I dated men, but I didn’t strive to start a family and have children. I just thought it wasn't time. My friends set themselves the goal of getting married as soon as possible, and they were ready to literally do anything to achieve what they wanted. I was looking for myself, I developed, studied, and I had little interest in the people around me. Now I am 42, I understand who I am, but I do not see in my environment a person with whom I could build a serious relationship, and even more so a family.
It's important to be smart
When a woman lives alone, she needs to be able to plan her communication and life in general. Those friends of mine who are married and have children prefer to communicate with the same as they are. So I have to think about who to date and when to see married friends. Sometimes our communication comes down to rare dinners during working hours. Of course, I am sometimes scared that they could fire me for this, but I think that it is much worse to depend on someone, not only materially, but also morally. If I am alone, I will never be abandoned.
I feel very sad
Especially when some kind of family holiday. I understand that life is not an eternal holiday, but sometimes I feel sad, and I cannot welcome anyone but my dog. I find the strength not to get depressed, again developing and doing my hobby. But I don't think that for this I should run down the aisle just with someone.
I am free
Recently I went to visit my friend for the birthday of her little son. I met many classmates, had fun, and had a good rest. And when the children started to rage, I just said goodbye to everyone and went to my home to a cozy apartment. I made myself coffee and enjoyed watching an interesting movie. I feel free, and I enjoy it.
My future is undefined
I still torment myself with the question: will I ever meet my love? I don't know if just friendship is enough for me to feel happy. I have a family: parents, sisters and brothers. I have many friends and acquaintances living in different cities. But still there is an uncertainty about my future.
Sexual life is
Only when you get older do you understand that in order to have sex it is not at all necessary to start a serious relationship. Now it is very easy to find yourself a partner exclusively for sex, without tying yourself to him with emotions. I don't sleep with everyone, but I have someone to call to get what I want.
My case is not unique
I live in a fairly large city, and I see a lot of women and men over 40 who, like me, have chosen solitude. The reasons for their loneliness may be different, but the essence is the same. And there are many such people on the planet.
I feel great
Even 10-15 years ago, I was very worried about the fact that my life is developing this way, and not in some other way. But every year I started to get upset about this less and less. And now, when I have already turned 42, I realized that I feel great, I am satisfied with my life, as it is! "
Great motivation not to be afraid of loneliness. Not everything is as bad as society dictates to us. The most important thing in life is not to get married and have children, but to understand yourself, accept yourself, and develop. Sometimes a person feels much more comfortable alone than in the environment of people completely unnecessary to him!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/osnovnye-pravila-odinochestva-chto-vy-pojmete-esli-ne-vyjdete-zamuzh-do-40-let.html
