Like you, I was probably taught from childhood that you need to help people. Only human mutual assistance helped us to reach the modern level. Someone does not even ask the question: to lend or not to lend. I had such a friend, she answered everyone categorically no to requests. They looked at her as a mean and greedy person, because she refused even close people. And here I am, a kind soul, always helped everyone until I got into an unpleasant situation.
I gave a loan, but by the time of his return, the person just began to dynamite me. Then "let's go tomorrow", then "I'm sorry, I had to spend everything," and then he stopped taking the phone. Now I don’t demand anything from him, I just don’t say hello, and let him live with his sin in his soul, I have forgiven him long ago, and let go of the situation. So, now I try not to lend.
Why is it not worth lending money?
Good relationships can be destroyed
On the one hand, if the relationship is initially bad, then it makes sense to worry about them. A normal, honest, adequate person will always return everything. He simply will not be able to sleep well with such a load. But even a very close person can turn into a real enemy against the background of the money issue. And, of course, the one who gave the money will remain bad. Well, it's like my situation. Later I heard a lot of good things about myself from third parties. And that I "got drunk", and that I became arrogant, and all that sort of thing.
If you really want and can help a loved one, then give him money just like that. Here from the heart, not expecting anything in return. It will be much better if you just help a person in a difficult situation, instead of attaching to yourself the status of a collector, and to him the status of a debtor.
There is a risk of irrevocably losing money
And again about my situation, because I never got my money back. And the amount there was so good. Not all people are responsible, they can feed you promises for months or even years. In the end, you, like me, simply give up everything. There is another option that the money will still be returned to you after a very long time, but then the amount by its weight will already be less appreciated.
You become defenseless before the "black day"
Indeed, sometimes people even take risks, and give their stash to the one who needs it at the moment. Let's say you were just saving money for a rainy day, and then a friend decided to buy a car, but he had some money problems. You, kind soul, lend him a loan, he, of course, swear that he will return everything after a certain time. And you are still not worried, firstly, the person is close, and secondly, you have no strains with finances yet. And now the time for repaying the debt has come, and you have just a difficult situation with money. But no one is in a hurry to give you what is taken only for a while. Nothing like this situation, huh? Where do you get money now?
You encourage extravagance
It is important to learn how to handle money correctly. I would even recommend doing your home bookkeeping so that you know exactly all your income and expenses. If you lend money to a person, then he understands that, in principle, he can live beyond his means, he may not monitor his finances at all, because you can always borrow the amount he needs. By lending to a person, you are only doing him a disservice.
I don't know if I convinced you or not. I repeat that if a person has a difficult life situation, then just give money and do not expect anything in return.
Do you lend money?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/zhizn/pochemu-luchshe-ne-davat-dengi-v-dolg.html
