You don't always need to gain experience and learn from your own mistakes. Sometimes you can just use someone else's wisdom to learn something. And it will be much better to know some truths about love in advance, so that it is not too late.
Don't assume that someone else will find out about your feelings.
Don't take your partner for granted. Talk to him about your feelings, even if your relationship is many years old. Thank him, admire him, remind him of your feelings constantly.
Sometimes it's better to be happy than right about everything.
You don't have to constantly think about what is good for you. Sometimes you need to give up your own righteousness so that happiness reigns in a relationship. Know how to find a compromise in controversial moments.
Better to be alone than to build relationships with just someone, in order to avoid loneliness
Firstly, this will not make you happy, and secondly, it is dishonest in relation to another person. You deserve more, and so does he. And, by the way, this will not save you from loneliness, if there is no connection between you, then you will still feel lonely.
Love the person as he is, not as he can become
Do not think that a person will change for you, become something different, not what he is now. You need to take it natural, love it that way, otherwise you may later be disappointed.
You cannot be made happy by another person.
If you are unhappy, then no one can make you happy. And no one is obliged to make you happy. It is you who should do what you need to be happy.
You can't make someone love you
No matter how hard you try to please a person, you cannot force him to love you. So, if a person stops loving you, let him go. It will hurt, but it's better than humiliating yourself and asking you to love yourself.
Superficial qualities won't help your relationship.
At first, ambition, appearance, money may attract, but all this will not bring you happiness in a relationship. The main thing is adequate communication, mutual respect, trust, as well as development.
Both in a pair must develop as individuals
If you are building a relationship with a person who does not strive to develop as a person, then you will walk different paths throughout your life. You need to look for someone who does not want to stand still and is always ready to go forward.
Love is not a feeling, but a choice
Feelings can fade, and relationships are built by people for decades. So love is not feelings, but a person's choice. It is you who choose whom you love.
Love alone is not enough for a relationship.
In addition to love, you need to be able to communicate, find common ground, respect each other, trust, then only relationships can pass the test of time.
You must have time for yourself in a relationship.
If you fully devote yourself exclusively to your partner, then your relationship will definitely be doomed to failure. You must have your own interests, hobbies, friends.
Talk about what you want in the relationship and what you are waiting for
Your needs are your only responsibility. And you need to talk about them, because your partner is not able to predict them. Do not scoff at yourself or your partner, he cannot read minds.
Respect your partner's personal opinion, but you don't have to agree with him.
It's absolutely normal to have different points of view, otherwise you will simply not be interested in the relationship.
Relationships are daily work
It cannot always be good, there will be difficulties. Your relationship is like a child, and they also need to be educated, raised, taught.
No need to point out the problem, immediately suggest a solution
Would you like it if you are constantly poked at your flaws and mistakes? Of course not. Do not do this either. Offer a solution to the problem instead of just pointing it out.
Don't try to change your partner
Don't make your partner think they're not good enough for you. If you don't like something in a person and you want to change it, then you definitely chose the wrong person.
Any relationship is important, regardless of its continuation.
You can say that you have wasted, say, five years of your life on a person. But weren't there happy moments in your relationship? And there were also lessons to be learned. And you don't have to stay in a dead relationship simply because you feel sorry that you've already spent a lot of time on it.
No need to wait for a partner to meet all your needs
Learn to handle most of your needs on your own. The partner does not have to do everything for you.
As in the movies will not
Love doesn't have to be as dramatic as in beautiful films.
Don't compare your relationship with someone else's
You don't have to think that you would like a relationship like a friend's or someone else's. Just live, love, no need to follow templates, no need to envy, cry. All this is complete nonsense. If you really love a person, then you will not monitor other people's relationships in the network and in life, you will simply enjoy each other.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/20-istin-o-ljubvi-kotorye-my-ponimaem-slishkom-pozdno.html
