All of us, mothers, want only the best for our children. And often we think that we are doing all the best for our child. But few people think that some behavior can oppress a child, lower his self-esteem and drive him into a certain framework.
I don't want to offend anyone now. I'm just trying to suggest how you can avoid the biggest mistakes in your life. After all, mother's behavior can negatively affect the child. Please, dear women, look at yourself from the outside so that you can soberly evaluate the methods of raising your children.
There are signs that you are a toxic mother
You constantly criticize your child.
You definitely want your child to be the best, to achieve a lot and succeed in many ways. Therefore, you decided that the best way to at least get something from him is to poke his nose into all the mistakes and mistakes. Who will tell him the truth if not you, right? Be gentle, help the child realize his mistakes, while not humiliating him. Excessive criticism can be detrimental to his self-esteem!
You violate the child's personal boundaries
Your worries about the child are so strong that you just start to overdo it. You enter your child's room without knocking, allow yourself to rummage through his personal belongings, eavesdrop on when he is talking to someone on the phone, control his every step. Only you decide with whom your child will be friends and with whom not. This is just awful, and the consequences of this behavior of yours can be irreparable.
You praise little child
If you do not forget to criticize for grades, bad behavior, etc., then for some reason it is not in your rules to praise your child. You take his success for granted. You think that you will accidentally overpraise your child and he will stop trying. This is also wrong! Do you like it when they say “well done” or “thank you”? So why don't you tell your child this?
You think that the child always does everything to spite you
This topic can be discussed for a long time. Some mothers are not at all happy with the birth of a child, so they believe that he was born to spite them. If this is not about you, then maybe your child does not study well to spite you, walks up late, too, to spite you, deliberately makes you nervous? Have you ever thought that the reasons for his poor academic performance and behavior may be completely different?
You are comparing your child to others
Here are five classmates, and yours again brought a three, the neighbors' daughter is studying in a dance school, and yours doesn't want to go there. You may, of course, praise other children so that your child strives for the best, equalizing with them, but this only leads to the fact that he begins to become convinced that he is a failure.
You try to be your child's friend
You don't need to be a "tough friend" to your child in order to build trust with him. You must behave in such a way that he feels your authority anyway. If you are friends, you will compete. Think about it!
You are manipulating the child
You do this to get something out of him. For example, you cry to make him feel compassionate, and you don't really care what he feels. After all, he can really get scared for you, and it hurts to worry about it. Your well-being is important to you!
Dear mothers, this article was not written with the aim of offending, humiliating or clevering you. I'm not at all an omniscient mother who tries to preach to others. I know that you want the best for your child. It's just that sometimes we all do something completely not for the good, but, on the contrary, to the detriment. And we realize it too late!
If you notice the above signs in your behavior, please change something! This is not only my request, but also the advice of experts!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/7-priznakov-togo-chto-vy-toksichnaya-mat.html
