What does it mean to be an outcast in the family?

It’s very strange for me that many parents have different attitudes toward their children. I love this and everything to him, but this one did not succeed in everything - he studies poorly, is rude, daring, well, or something else there. And one gets the impression that they gave birth to one child, but not the second.

So it was in the family of Nadia. The parents loved the eldest daughter Lilya, and Nadyushka was an empty place for them. Mom told little, and then grown-up Nadya straight to her face that her birth was a complete surprise for them and her husband. The second pregnancy in the family was not planned at all. When Nadya, having already become a teenager, heard this from her mother once again, she wanted to object to her. But a very terrible scandal erupted, and she even had to spend the night with a friend until all the passions had subsided at home.

What does it mean to be an outcast in the family?

Nadia's family is ordinary and unremarkable. Dad is the head of a small company, mom has worked as an accountant all her life. The family has always had money. Only Leela bought everything new and fashionable, but Nadya had to wear everything for her sister.

From childhood, Lilya felt that she was loved more in the family, so she treated her sister very coldly. And so they lived, Nadya was constantly in tension and did not hear words of love addressed to her, did not feel care. And Lilya has always been the nicest and most beautiful. Then Nadia was sent to live with her grandmother.

And then Nadya's life changed dramatically. She finally understood what true love is. Her grandmother brought her up in that very love and care so necessary for a girl, but Lilya became more and more selfish every year. Nadia lived with her grandmother for two happy years, but then her mother suddenly got scared of such closeness between them, and took her back to her family. And then the most terrible times in the girl's life began.

Lilya began to beat and call Nadia names, and the parents turned a blind eye to this, because they believed that the children themselves should sort out their relationships. Several times Nadya ran to her grandmother, but her parents forcibly returned her home, and hell began again there. Relations with her sister deteriorated more and more, the parents did not care, but Nadia was in pain. Then she began by all means to show mom and dad that she is worth something in this life. The girl studied for only fives, began to dance, learn English. Lilya did not know all this and did not know how, but she was angry that her sister had become "too cloying." She arranged a barrack in Nadia's room, threw and tore things, deliberately stained everything. She also spoiled something at her parents, and then dumped everything on Nadia.

Lilya studied at school just awfully, and Nadia, naive, helped her with her homework, hoping that her sister's attitude towards her would change, and her parents would understand what a good and kind person she is. With grief in half, Lilya still graduated from the 9th grade, and hastened to get out of school, enrolling in a technical school in another city. There, too, she did not even try to study, so she was expelled after the first year. And for some reason they made Nadia guilty again. It is unclear how sideways she was with the technical school.

Well, after the expulsion, Lily came home, and sat down safely on her parent's neck. Then I found myself the same fool and jumped out to marry him. By the way, the parents arranged a gorgeous wedding for their beloved daughter, and for this they got into big debts and loans. And Nadya graduated from the 11th grade and successfully entered a good university with her brains. She lived in a hostel, studied well, and on weekends and vacations she came to her grandmother.

Lilya divorced a year later, and her parents were still distributing the debts they had collected. Nadyushka no longer communicated with her family, and they never called her to inquire about her health, life, studies.

A year later, Nadia learned that her father had a stroke and died. Lilya still lived with her mother, and also with the child on foot. Then Nadya decided to visit them and take the presents.

Mom, sister and baby lived on the mother's pension. Nadia's heart sank, at that moment she had already finished her studies and found a good job. She had to pay all the debts and utility bills of her family, buy groceries and some things for her nephew. And then she finally managed to talk to her mother. Nadia asked why the family had such an attitude towards her. And the mother at first ignored everything, and then admitted that she and her father just wanted a son, but a daughter was born again. Hence such hostility, disappointment... And the child, innocent of anything, remained guilty!

Nadya had to swallow everything she heard and simply delete the family from her life. They don't remember her either. Now Nadyushka is married, is expecting a child, and is not even in a hurry to find out his gender. Who cares who is inside, the main thing is that he is healthy, the main thing is that in any case he will be loved and not an outcast like his mother.

Nadyushka lives well and is happy in her new family, but do you think she does not have all the humiliation and filth that was in her childhood in her memory? This pain will stay with her forever!

You know, parents and children do not ask for this world themselves! It is you who make the decision - whether to give birth to them or not! Therefore, if you do not want a child, then you should not doom him to torment!

The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/chto-znachit-byt-izgoem-v-seme.html

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