Anecdotes about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began to catch our eye much more often than about the son-in-law and mother-in-law. But, what is laughter for some, for others real cases and even pain. How can you improve relations with your mother-in-law, or maybe you shouldn't?
Natasha is 30 years old, she has a four-year-old son, she is happily married, and she is very much afraid that her mother-in-law will take the child away from her. Natasha lives with her family in the village. They have an apartment in the city, but they work remotely, so you can live where there is more fresh air. Natasha's mother-in-law is a very domineering woman. She is used to keeping everything under control, and does everything so that her son and daughter-in-law obey her. For example, Lyubov Georgievna (Natasha's mother-in-law) does not want her grandson to go to kindergarten, she herself enrolled him in a school without the knowledge of her parents. The mother-in-law does not want her son and grandson to live in the village, and by hook or by crook she is trying to lure her dear men closer to her in the city.
Natasha is already tired of listening to the tone of "mom" and the way she talks to her son. Grandson Lyubov Georgievna tries to pamper him in every possible way, stuffs him with sweets, allows him to drink soda and eat chips. And all this is behind Natasha's back.
Now Natasha's son, realizing that it is fun and tasty with his grandmother, does not want to stay with his mother at all, and does not want to go to kindergarten. Lyubov Georgievna is a wealthy woman, but she does not have to hang around at work every day for this. She has already done herself, and can only afford to appear in her salon occasionally. Therefore, she has the opportunity to at least constantly be with her grandson. Another daughter-in-law would be happy, because in our time modern grandmothers are either busy building their personal lives, or "resting" from something, what is really the matter with grandchildren. But Natasha does not enjoy such a relationship between her grandmother and her grandson.
In addition, the mother-in-law of all Natasha's prohibitions against her son, restrictions and so on, says that she is still completely "green", and that it is she, Lyubov Georgievna, who should sort out how and what.
And what about Natasha's husband? Well, he seemed to grow up in a normal family, and as a normal, adequate, hard-working, intelligent, kind, caring man. But he can't argue with mom at all. He does not care where he lives - in the village or in the city, and his mother's behavior does not seem wrong to him. Natasha is already so tired of this that she gives up. She would like to live as far away from her “mother” as possible, learn to defend her boundaries, be a mother to her son, and not a mischievous mother who forbids everything against the background of her grandmother.
Natasha is already ready to move to the city, only to another, not where her mother-in-law rules. But even in this case, Lyubov Georgievna will not back down, and will do everything to be close to her son and grandson. What does she want? What does she want? To quarrel Natasha with her husband, to bring everything to a divorce? And the husband is also good, at least once he made a remark to his mother, but no, he is silent all the time, nods his head, agrees with everything, they say, mother knows what is best.
Now Natasha has a very bad idea in her head. She is afraid that her mother-in-law will take her son away from her. She is already ready to divorce her husband, take the child, and leave wherever they look, but she is afraid that her mother-in-law will sue her. Well, he will think of something there, just to get his grandson back.
There are a lot of such stories, in fact. From the point of view of the law, the child himself decides with which of the relatives he will communicate, and with whom not. A grandmother can go to court if her mother does not allow her to communicate with her grandson, or to the guardianship authorities. Not everyone knows that many grandmothers even manage to get their daughters-in-law financial compensation for moral damage! However, the judges do not approve of such requests.
The court is guided exclusively by the interests of the child. The guardianship authorities will carefully analyze the living and material situation of both parties. The court will also consider the characteristics from the place of work, from the kindergarten. A child psychologist can also take part in the court. The specialist will very easily and simply be able to determine the features of the relationship between the parties, as well as between them and the children. And the child's opinion will certainly be heard at the hearing. And only on the basis of all the collected material and all that was heard, the court will make its decision, namely, draw up a schedule of communication between the grandmother and the grandson. Here the court can stop at hours, days and even weeks when the grandson will be with his grandmother without the presence of the mother.
BUT! Any risks fall solely on the shoulders of the parents, because grandparents do not have parental rights, which means they are not responsible for their grandchildren!
With regard to the educational process, the parents take the lead in this. But it is very difficult to separate communication and education from each other, and parents will never know what a grandmother does with her grandson during the hours allotted to her.
Or maybe you shouldn't bring the case to court? First, it is worth talking to your husband and finding out his clear position on this matter. He must understand that it is difficult for a wife to raise a son when the grandmother is constantly trying to undermine the mother's authority. Secondly, you will have to talk to your grandmother and convey your demands to her. Well, and thirdly, as for the age of four. Love for children at this age can be bribed with a gentle attitude, and, of course, toys.
You should not take the case to court if you are not sure that all this will end well for your side. In addition, the mother-in-law is your child's grandmother, she is the mother of your husband, you need to be grateful to her for raising such a son. And if her son turned out to be what she needs, maybe she can make a good man out of her grandson?
What do you think, dear women? Is it worth forging a relationship with your mother-in-law, or is it a war that you definitely need to win?
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/zhizn/otnosheniya-so-svekrovju-stoit-li-nalazhivat-etu-svyaz.html
