Why does jealousy of a child arise?
1. In the first months of life, the child is with his mother almost around the clock. Of course, such a change in the schedule is difficult for a man - he remains on the sidelines of everything that happens.
2. Hormones prepare a woman for motherhood, but not a man. In the end, dad is always not fully ready for a new role, especially since at first he is "on the sidelines" parenthood, while the wife is exhausted and tired, but it is not always possible to help her due to the child's attachment to my mother.
3. The repression of a man from the process of caring for a child entails conflicts and disagreements. Usually, grandmothers also help mom, so the father's role becomes tertiary.
4. Mom has no strength left for anything except the child. This is normal and natural, because hormones tell a woman to be near the baby, even an army of nannies will not help here.
5. The husband is infantile and needs constant care. If he found a new “mother” in his wife, then he is jealous of her child, as if he had a “younger brother / sister”.
To avoid jealousy and every family member to be happy, there must be a certain hierarchy.
In the first place should be the woman herself and her resource. If he is not there, then there is no need to talk about taking care of the child and husband. In second place should be the relationship of the couple, in third (as it turns out) - taking care of the baby. It is clear that he needs to be fed, changed his diaper, put to bed, but the rest of the time he does not have to be the center of the universe. In addition, these needs can be met by other relatives or nannies provided with the necessary things.
What to do if the husband is jealous of the child
1. Talk
To start, just express your own emotions and feelings, and let the father of the child do the same. omissions only worsen the situation.
2. Involve the husband in caring for the child
Dad is also able to entertain, change diapers and put to bed. And the more often dad does this, the faster the child will get used to being without mom for a while. And the more dad himself will fall in love with his baby. It will also positively affect a man's self-esteem.3. Take time to be alone
Of course, in the first months of a child's life, this seems unrealistic. But milk for feeding can be expressed in advance, for supervision - to attract relatives or friends. And this makes it possible, at least occasionally, to be only together. The main thing is to establish a rule not to talk about the child during such a "date" (it will be difficult, believe me).
You will also be interested to read:
- 4 main myths about motherhood
- 5 main mistakes when communicating with a newborn
- How to photograph a baby at home as well as in a studio
