Separate sleep of spouses: pros and cons

Separate sleep in our country is wary and is considered a sign of bad relations between spouses. Unless in the literature we can read about those times when rich people not only had separate bedrooms, but whole parts of the house were divided into male and female.

In some countries, separate sleep is still considered the norm (but not an obligation): if a family can afford multiple bedrooms, then why not. For example, they think so in South Korea.

Let's consider in detail the pros and cons of such a dream for a couple.

Pros of Separate Sleep:

1. You go to bed whenever you want

You can read in bed in the light until late at night, or work, watch TV - without disturbing the second half of your sleep. But very often the biorhythms in the family do not coincide: someone wants to go to bed early, he gets up early for work, someone later, working just at night and in silence.

2. You sleep in a comfortable environment

This includes the included air conditioner (no one will complain that they are blowing), an open window (no one is disturbed by noise), a night light, TV off or relaxing music - you can create for yourself the environment and microclimate in which specifically you will conveniently.

3. There is no need to sacrifice anything

This comes from the previous two points. You create for yourself such an environment of sleep and relaxation that is convenient for you, you do not need to look for compromises, endure inconveniences, make sacrifices. But the difference is who sleeps how, falls asleep, what time and how he wakes up - frequent causes of family quarrels and discontent.

4. Snoring doesn't bother anyone

And also sniffing, tossing and turning, talking in a dream, etc.

5. You have time to miss

Separate sleep is also not a prerequisite. You may well sleep together, sometimes apart, and if you get bored, the joint sleep is much more pleasant, it does not turn into a part of "everyday life".

6. The family bed is no longer a burden

In a family, there are different situations when then you do not want to go to bed with each other. Long-term "traditions", when families were forced to huddle on several square meters, led to recommendations: even after a quarrel, spouses should sleep together.

But who do they owe? Who is really good at this? The morning of the evening is always wiser - and you can reconcile even after a separate sleep, when each spouse has a good rest and thinks over the situation.

7. Shared bed is no longer a means of manipulation

No one will be able to "evict" to sleep on the sofa as a punishment if you are already sleeping separately. This is generally a strange kind of punishment, which only says that one of the spouses finally remembered about personal boundaries and comfort and decided to finally sleep the way he wanted, seizing the moment and sending the second to sofa.

8. Personal boundaries are respected

Each person sometimes needs to be alone, to take a comfortable sleeping position, to feel complete comfort from their rest, not to see anyone nearby. Separate sleep maximizes this opportunity.

9. Separate sleep does not deprive you of intimacy

And neither emotional nor sexual. Intimacy has nothing to do with whether you fall asleep together or separately. Moreover, a separate sleep allows you to thoroughly prepare for intimacy and not come up with any side of the "excuse" if you suddenly want to just sleep.

We often hear the argument from proponents of co-sleeping that co-sleeping is their only opportunity to be together.

In this case, you need to reconsider your relationship and your schedule: why did the situation develop in such a way that the couple does not communicate, does not communicate in any way, except to lie next to each other in a dream? After all, lying together on the same bed is more to calm your conscience ("we communicate like this") than to actually establish contact.

What, then, are the disadvantages of separate sleep?

1. Many do not share the idea due to stereotypes

A single model is hammered into the heads of most of our compatriots: spouses sleep together in one bed. Yes, it is uncomfortable, yes, quarrels and discontent, but "it is so accepted."

2. "What will people say"

It's hard to move away from stereotypical thinking if you constantly look back at the miraculous opinion. Many are afraid that they will be talked about, that their relationship will be perceived as problematic. But if the couple is really all right and a separate dream suits both of them - then what difference does it make what people say?

Alas, public pressure (especially from relatives) can be too strong for one of the spouses (or both).

3. There is no place

Yes, sometimes sleeping places cannot be divided by definition - because there is not so much free space in the home. But if you wish, you can replace the double bed with two single beds - this will partially provide comfort for everyone, and if you wish, the beds can be periodically moved.

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