Relationships with children are a parallel universe to the friendship you are used to.
If you have both children, here are a few basic situations to prepare for in advance.
1. Children quarrel, fight, do not want to communicate
Every mother here finds herself in a double position: on the one hand, you need to support your child (he is not obliged to to be friends), on the other - to make him a morality if he is really wrong (even if inside yourself you think that you are right). And even if you are right, try to convince you to make peace with the offender.
As a result, every mother feels uncomfortable and will try to avoid this in the future, which could be the end of friendship.
2. Frequent visits
All people have a different understanding of how often one can visit one person and how happy they are to see them there.
You probably don't mind seeing a friend periodically, especially if the kids get along. And do not mind sitting with her child if she left on business.
But if they impose their visits on you almost every day, they often ask to look after the child, and from you this requires additional time and responsibility - then for sure the situation will quickly begin "strain".
3. Criticism of someone else's upbringing
Few can restrain themselves and not criticize the parenting style of the other parent who sees in front of him. After all, you really want to "insert your 5 kopecks" about what a child can eat and drink, and what is harmful, where to meet his whims, and where to be strict.
But each such reproach is perceived by the mother as an attack on her family and on herself, a doubt about her ability to fulfill her mother's role. In general, an attack on the sacred.It is not recommended to do this, even if you and your friend have known each other all your life and are very close. A quarrel or a latent resentment is guaranteed.
4. "And we..."
Yes, yes, your child knows English better than Russian already at 2 years old, recited poetry at 1.5, at 4 he will go to school, and at 10 he will graduate from university. He also goes in for music, swimming, painting, choreography, and started early development classes before he even started.
And a control blow to the patient: your child sleeps all night, he never needed a nipple, breast quickly took it and went away in a year, sat down on the pot in one and a half, do not use diapers since 2 years, read from 3.
This is all great, of course. But the more you poke all these accomplishments in the face of a friend who worries she can't get the baby to sleep or feed, worries that he doesn't read, etc. - the sooner you are a friend are losing.
And so the whole world tells her that children can be brilliant, or they can - like hers, at three years old in a diaper and do not know the letters with all their efforts. If you do not have tactful and delicate, very working advice that can help your friend - do not praise yourself, your own children, your life. By doing this, you will simply hurt the person very much.
You will also be interested to read:
- 5 things moms lie to each other about in playgrounds
- 5 exercises to raise a child's self-esteem
- 5 phrases you shouldn't say to your child's father
