What women are silent about: how a single mom can arrange a personal life without trauma for a child

Experts of the talk show "What women are silent about" on STB, together with the presenter Oksana Bayrak, told how a single mom does not lose herself, does not dissolve in a child, and arrange her personal life.

33-year-old Alesya, who herself is raising her daughter Evangelina, came to the talk show studio.

The heroine devotes all her attention to the child, so there is absolutely no time for herself. Only thanks to the support of her daughter, Alesya survived her husband's betrayal, and the girl was afraid that the appearance of a new man would become stress for her daughter. Evangeline was very jealous of the fact that Alesya was spending time with someone else - be it a friend or a man. Therefore, the girl preferred not to go on dates and be with her daughter 24/7.

Hyper-care - defensive reaction

Psychologist Dmitry Dudalov helps women decide on a new relationship after a divorce. He notes that Alesya, like many single mothers, has fear.

“Hyper-attachment to a daughter is a defensive reaction, an excuse. She is very afraid that the new relationship may also end in failure and bring pain and disappointment. This is very common. Previous traumatic experiences always leave their mark. But it is worth understanding - if you are afraid of disappointment, then by doing so you cut off all good things from yourself. You need to have the courage to take the first step, to open up to new relationships. "

Love yourself and take time for yourself

“You need to treat time for yourself, personal care, and personal life as a necessity, like eating or sleeping. You cannot show a child how to be happy if you yourself are unhappy. You, as a mother, must show your daughter that you are happy with a man, so that she can later broadcast it into her life, ”the time management expert recommends.

Experts also advise you to think about what things make you happy. Single mothers who are afraid of new relationships should work on their self-esteem and love themselves, like themselves and feel beautiful. After all, a woman who is unhappy and does not love herself does not give others a chance to love her.

Sexologist Nikolai Boyko noted that Ales should be liberated sexually. Don't immediately reject the man she likes out of fear. The expert noted that intimate life is very important for a woman's health.

Dangers of lack of sex:

• depressive state
• nervousness
• inflammation of the female genital organs
• hormone deficiencies

Do not associate a child with an ex-husband

Psychotherapist Olga Demina noted that Alesya saw a part of her husband in her daughter. Therefore, the creation of a new family for her seems like treason and betrayal. However, it is important to separate the daughter from the ex-spouse.

Mistakes when dating a man

The star event presenter Vladimir Takoudis has a child from his first marriage, and recently the guy married a girl with a child. The couple is very happy and knows that it is important to find a soul mate, and not just a dad or mom for the child.

“A mistake that single mothers often make is that they ask on the first date if a man loves children, how he spends time with children, and so on. And the man gets the impression that she is choosing not him as a person, but as a father for her child. "

Experts also advise to introduce a man to a child as a friend and a person who loves his mother.

“If he loves you, he will love your child. Evangeline will see that the man loves you, that his mother is happy with him, and will love him in return "

The heroine decided to discard all stereotypes and admitted that she would be a good mother for her daughter, open up to new love and create a happy family.