Punishments are designed to correct a child's behavior - but what if they don't work?
Punishment by adults for misconduct and bad behavior does not differ in particular variety: excommunication from gadgets, spanking, ignoring, deprivation of sweets and other pleasant things. It would seem that in this case the child should obey, become aware of his behavior and become "comfortable".
But it happens that punishments don't work. You put the child in a corner - and he runs away, you spank him - he fights back, you deprive him of his gadgets, and he doesn't seem to notice it.
Why does this happen and how to act when discipline for educational purposes does not work?
1. Look for the right approach. There are no universal punishments. For one child, the hardest test will be that his mother does not speak to him for half an hour, and for the other - to be left without dessert. It makes no sense to put the child in a corner if he will not stand there.
Parents in response to this behavior will become even more irritated, screaming and possibly hitting. So we need to look for another approach. Find a punishment that the child will not be able to "cancel" on their own, and that will not cause him physical and mental trauma.2. Physical punishment doesn't work. Violence always breeds violence. If you shout at a child and hit him, then he perceives this as a norm of behavior and begins to behave the same in relation to other children and adults.
For babies under 3-4 years old, a slap on the butt can have a "sobering" effect, but for older ones no "belts" will motivate them to behave better. Rather, the child will learn to lie and hide the truth than to correct after such punishments.
3. Repeated repetition doesn't work either. There is no point in repeating the same thing to a child a hundred times. If it is obvious that the child is not hearing, you need to change the approach: turn eye to eye, switch attention to another activity, etc.
If the child is indulging somewhere on the sidelines, and the mother tries to reason with him, shouting at a distance, he simply will not perceive it.
4. Constant punishment kills fear of them. To punish a child for the slightest offense means to make punishments and restrictions by the norm of his life. The child will still do his own thing.
You can consider this harmful and a test of your patience, but in fact, he is simply already used to punishments and does not see anything out of the ordinary in them.
5. Disobedience is corrected with attention and encouragement. And the more the child indulges and does not obey, the more acutely he needs attention and acceptance from his parents. Yes, he does it on purpose, but not quite consciously.
It's just obvious to a child that it is easier to attract the attention of adults with bad behavior. And a negative reaction in this case is better for him than no reaction. And that makes bad behavior worse.6. Be consistent. It is easy for the child to be manipulated by the parents if he cries, refuses to eat, etc. As a result, the adults give up and cancel the punishment. This means that it was optional and can be canceled - the child understands. And next time he will not take the threat of punishment seriously.
7. Don't threaten with what you won't do. There is no point in creating psychological trauma for the child by threatening to "give it to someone else's uncle", leave it on the street or leave it in another way, throw out his gadgets or toys - if in fact you yourself understand that you will not make.
The punishment must be real, tangible and meaningful to the child. If you only threaten and talk about what you will not do, then the child ceases to perceive such treatment at all.
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