How to distinguish children's whims from neurosis

Tantrums, aggression, gnawed nails - how to distinguish children's whims and whims from serious neuroses?

One might think that neuroses only occur in adults who have reasons for severe stress. However, they do happen in children. After all, children's stress is no less powerful, just the reasons may differ.

Put yourself in the shoes of a child, whose life is almost completely subordinated to the will of adults, who is "adjusted" to themselves, often forced to do something and indicated what he should be.

These are all also stressful situations that intensify if there are quarrels in the family, conflicts between adults or children and parents, punishment.

How neurosis manifests itself

The spectrum of manifestations of neurosis in children is huge: these are sleep and eating disorders, tantrums, nervous tics, urinary incontinence, involuntary movements - thumb sucking, nail biting, hair curling on fingers, stuttering, other speech disorders and behavior.

What to do with childhood neurosis

Fortunately, neurosis can be corrected. However, a doctor must first diagnose him. Then he also selects a way to correct the situation. It is necessary to contact a pediatrician who, if necessary, will refer you to a psychotherapist or neurologist.

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Sometimes neuroses come up on their own if they are associated with age-related characteristics. For example, at the age of 4-7 years, children can make nervous involuntary movements due to an imbalance of needs and capabilities. Then they grow up and the problem disappears on its own if it did not have other reasons, such as physical and emotional abuse.

In some situations, the child will need examination and possibly treatment. This applies to sleep disorders, appetite, urinary and fecal incontinence. To understand exactly what is a neurosis, you need to exclude possible problems with the work of body systems, internal organs.

How to distinguish neurosis from "caprice"

Neurotic behavior is different in that it always manifests itself in the same way and cannot be stopped by talking, persuading or punishing. For example, a child in hysterics beats his head on the floor - a difficult and unpleasant situation. But does he always do that? If only with mom and grandmother, but not in kindergarten or with dad, then this is more likely not a neurosis, but controlled behavior.

It's the same with thumb sucking, combing, tics, etc. If they appear regardless of the environment, then we can talk about neurosis. That is, if the fear of the dark is eliminated by a night light, this is normal.

And if a child is haunted by nightmares, he goes to bed with hysteria, does not sleep well, refuses to sleep even with a night light, is panicky afraid of "monsters under the bed" - then a specialist must deal with this.

The last word in the diagnosis is always with the doctor, not the parents or other relatives. And you need to be prepared for the fact that the diagnosis and treatment are not always determined quickly. Additional examinations and tests may be needed.

How neurosis is treated

First of all, there is work with the traumatic experience that led to the neurosis. If the child is constantly shouted at, beaten, if the parents quarrel, divorce, if the child absolutely does not like it kindergarten, where he is forced to go, then without eliminating the cause, no sedative pills and vitamins will help.

Moreover, for a child, even an insignificant, according to adults, case may be traumatic. One family quarrel, one punishment, one angry dog, one motion sickness attack in transport, one case when a child was lost, etc.

Therefore, it is extremely important for parents to monitor their words and actions. Children easily take everything seriously and remember for a long time.

For example, threats to "give someone else's uncle" or "hand over to a boarding school", threats to leave, "give a belt" (and even more so - to actually hurt), thrown on emotions the words "leave alone", "shut up" and even worse, for sure all parents have noticed something like this at least once, especially if, for some reason, "give up nerves".

Correction of the behavior of a child with neurosis is, first of all, the task of the parents, and only then is the work of a psychotherapist or neurologist. First you need to improve the atmosphere in the family, make it calm, benevolent, without threats, increased irritation and anxiety.

You need to show the child that you love and accept him, even if he sucks his finger, and does not scream and is nervous because of this habit (this will only aggravate the child's condition).

Sometimes a baby just needs a little more attention, patience, time, acceptance, love - not toys, gifts and cartoons, but parents nearby. Or a little more rest from endless activities, studies, sections, parenting rules and requirements.