How to tell your child what not to do

In most families, children hear a lot "can't". Often this is a question of their own safety: how else to explain to a one-year-old child that an oven, an outlet, wires and sharp objects are dangerous, and that hitting mom and dad is unacceptable?

If nothing is forbidden to the child, it gives rise to permissiveness. Not seeing boundaries and frames, he becomes simply unbearable, but in fact confused: he himself does not know that it is possible, and what is not, adults have not set a framework for him, so everything must be done so that finally these frameworks decided. That is, to behave "recklessly" in the hope of a reaction from adults.

At the same time, too many prohibitions prevent a child from developing correctly, getting to know the world, and becoming independent.

How to find this golden mean, how much and when to say "no"?

1. Only prohibit what cannot but prohibit

Prohibition is not only the words "no" and "no" or punishment, you can simply switch the child's attention. For example, distract from unwinding a roll of toilet paper or drawing on hands with felt-tip pens.

But if your child hits someone or creates another danger to life or health, this should be strictly suppressed, and you need to inform him that this is unacceptable.

2. Develop your child's emotional intelligence

A child with developed empathy will not deliberately hurt someone, offend animals, he will quickly understand why parents may be upset and will not harm them.

Of course, the smallest ones will not immediately understand this, but by the age of 3 the child should understand why it is impossible to beat the mother and spoil her things.

3. Don't use violence and rudeness

Such measures elicit a similar response. Your child learns from you how to react when he doesn't like something.

You shouted at him or hit him, rudely - then you will get exactly the same reaction from him in your direction.

Any prohibitions should be explained. If you put pressure on the child and do not explain why this or that prohibition is in force, then you will meet protest and actions for evil.

4. Talk about the consequences

If you warn a child about the consequences of his action, this does not mean that he will abandon his plans and listen to you. It is important to remember this and not go straight to a cry when it becomes obvious that the heart-to-heart conversation "did not work."

But if a child awaits punishment for his offense or just some thing can be irreparably spoiled - you must announce this in advance and calmly, thus providing a choice. Also talk about the fact that you will get angry, offended or upset if he does his own way (not to be confused with manipulation "or you do so, or you are not my son").

It is also necessary to talk about the consequences of actions that are dangerous to life and health, but first, of course, stop any such actions, and then explain.

5. Use facial expressions

Even the smallest child understands by the facial expressions of their parents their real attitude to his actions - and constantly looks at the reaction. With facial expressions you can easily replace the words "no" and "no", which the child sometimes hears so often that it stops responding.

You will also be interested to read:

• 7 ways to refuse a child and not get a tantrum in return
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