5 reasons not to visit a woman in the hospital

Your friend or relative has given birth - and you are in a hurry to be the first to see toddler, congratulate her personally, give balloons, flowers and a cake?

We recommend that you slow down and find out 5 main reasons why you should not visit a young mother in the hospital.

Great stress and need for rest

Childbirth is easy for some women, but not for all. For most, this is a huge physical and emotional stress.

After giving birth, a young mother needs peace, rest and comfort, and not advice, questions and other people's sighs.

She needs to realize herself and her life in a new status, cry from pain and happiness, get to know a little man who has just been born.

The need for privacy

A young mother in the very first hours / days after childbirth establishes breastfeeding. This can be quite challenging.

If not everything is easy and simple, then the mother is with bare breasts almost all the time, she is helped to massage the nurse, she is pumped, etc.

In addition, after childbirth, the woman continues to bleed profusely, she walks (but rather lies) in huge urological pads or with a diaper clamped between the legs, she and the baby are examined every day doctors.

In all this state, when blood flows there, milk flows here, to the most secret places the medical staff unceremoniously intercedes, and the prospect of going to the toilet is terrifying - I don't want to meet guests.

A young mother needs to lie down a lot, rest, do her own hygiene and feed her baby.

Pain

Childbirth is often accompanied by incisions, tears, sutures. All this hurts for several more weeks.

The uterus also contracts - and that also hurts.

The baby does not always take the breast correctly - and it is very painful.

A woman can be in a state when it seems that everything hurts her.

Would you like to receive guests when everything hurts and painkillers are not available?

Fear of rejection

You asked permission to come - and they let you in? Most likely, the woman in labor was simply uncomfortable to tell you "no."

If she refused, you would be offended, right? As if it is your right, not a privilege, to visit your newborn.

And the young mother was simply too tired to indulge in discussions or withstand other people's insults.

Do you want to be an uninvited guest? Or is it better to wait at least a couple of weeks and come when you are really welcome?

Silly questions and advice

Almost all visitors in one way or another start asking stupid questions or giving unsolicited advice.

In fact, the whole conversation between the woman in labor and those who came to her is based on this.

You will not discuss new movies, will you? No, you will only talk about the woman and the baby.

What question might be appropriate here? Virtually none, unless it's an offer of help.

"Was it painful to give birth?", "What do the doctors say about your condition?", "What sutures were put? When to take off? "," What else hurts? "," Why did you dress the baby so warmly / easily? "," Maybe feed him / feed him less often / drink water / buy / swaddle / turn over, etc.? "," And the navel than do you process? "," Does the breast take? "," Pooping? " to the woman in labor.

And a few recommendations for those who will still visit a young mother. For example, transfer food or some things.

1. Do not comment on the appearance of a young mother.

Even if you want to compliment, or maybe, on the contrary, regret - just keep silent.

Yes, the stomach has not gone yet - and should not. Yes, she is exhausted and tries not to look at herself in the mirror.

2. Do not regret

If the woman herself does not begin to complain to you and is clearly asking for regret, then you do not need to feel sorry for her.

Now she is trying to gather all the moral and physical strength to become a good mother and quickly recover.

Your pity will only nail her self-worth to the floor.

3. Offer specific help

The question "How can I help you?" can drive you to a dead end.

Suggest specific options: "Come on, can I bring you something tasty?" etc.

4. Wear a protective medical mask

If you are the father of the child and attended a partner birth, then this, of course, does not concern you.

But if you are a grandmother, grandfather, girlfriend or other person close to a woman in labor, understand that you can be a carrier of a viral infection, even without symptoms.

And a newborn can catch this infection very quickly. So be sure to use a mask and don't get too close to your child.

5. Leave the tips to yourself

Perhaps you gave birth and raised four children, but this mother and her baby do not need advice, especially persistent ones, and comments.

If a young mother asks for your advice or opinion, that's another matter.

But insisting, doing moralizing is definitely not necessary if you want to continue to communicate with this family.

A young mother is very vulnerable, anxious, she already constantly doubts and worries. Don't confuse her further.

6. Don't pick up your child

Maybe mom let you take the baby because she couldn't refuse. But it is better not to take the initiative in this matter.

As soon as you took the child in your arms, believe me, mom immediately wanted to pick him up.

Now she still perceives the baby as a part of herself, literally physically feels him. And you are now an outsider for them, even if a close relative.

7. Do not sit too long

If you can do nothing to help the woman in labor here and now, it's time for you to go home, and she should have a good rest.

You will find it helpful to read:

• 7 common mistakes young mothers make
• unfulfilled promises that all young parents make to themselves
• how not to lose friends after childbirth