It would seem that there is no way. But if this is accompanied by hysteria, even several times a day - you must admit, it's hard to go through.
But it is important to remember that any crisis is just a stage in the formation of a child as a person. And if he does not pass it at all, then there is a reason to turn to a psychologist and reconsider your relationship with the baby. Perhaps your parenting style is too oppressive, the child is intimidated - and he seems to obey, but this interferes with his development.
In theory, it is possible to prepare for a child age crisis. Promise yourself to be patient and calm, talk calmly with the child, not break down or shout, accept and regret.
But in reality, the whole theory quickly breaks down after several children's tantrums, in which it is impossible to understand either the source or the path of resolution.When a child has a three-year-old crisis, parents have to balance between not driving him to hysteria and not giving in to manipulation.
Here are some tips on how to respond to a crisis "no".
1. Act on warning
Thinking one step ahead is a useful quality not only for parents of three years old. If you can predict that an object or action will cause a tantrum, prevent it.
For example, you collect your child in the morning for kindergarten. And you know that he may want to take with him a toy that you do not allow to take to kindergarten. Before the child comes across this toy in the morning, hide it. It seems obvious, but it's important to think ahead.If you know that going to the children's store will turn into a tantrum - do not go there. If a trip to any store turns into a hysteria - at least temporarily shift the purchases to your husband / wife or to the delivery service from the supermarket.
2. How to respond to refusal to eat
The worst options are to start shouting, forcing, or vice versa, offering a dozen options for dishes. Don't do that. How to say: "If you do not want to eat - well, okay."
Psychologists advise to say something like the following: "Okay, I'll leave food here whenever you want - then eat." At the same time, there should be no more than 2 options for what exactly is. And it is better to put food in a place where the child cannot reach it in a fit of willfulness - otherwise it will end up on the floor and furniture.
3. How to respond to sleep deprivation
At the age of three, many kids go to kindergarten - and from this they feel a lack of parental attention. In fact, the whole morning is busy with gathering, the whole evening - with dinner, hygiene procedures and bedding. Little time is left for games and direct communication with loved ones.
It is this factor that can induce a child to refuse to go to bed, even if he is actually tired.What to do? Give your baby more hugs, talk to him, do not waste time with him on the phone. It is very important to provide enough tactile and emotional contact.
4. Follow the established order
Show the child that his rejection of everything, screaming and crying does not affect the established order in the family. Until he starts screaming and can hear you, convey it in a form that he understands. And most importantly, be calm and persistent. If you "give up" and follow the child's lead, the situation will repeat itself many times.
5. Review your inhibitions
A small child is surrounded by a lot of all sorts of "no" and "no" from the parents. And this is also worth thinking about: you establish your own order by saying "no", and the child, in response, tries to establish his / her own way.
A child at this age is trying to show his significance by inventing certain rituals that he considers obligatory to be observed. It can be anything: in what order to eat porridge and cutlet, drink compote or water in the morning, put on the left shoe first, and then the right one, etc.
Rituals can irritate parents if they are contrary to the norm, such as wanting to wear tights or T-shirts backwards. But think, is it really so important for you to grapple with the child in this fight and demand to put on tights correctly, but at the same time bring the baby and yourself to hysterics?Perhaps, during this crisis of three years, not only the child learns new things about himself, the world and parents, but you yourself have a broader view of the relationship with the baby and others. After all, who cares if the child doesn't want to comb or wear shorts over his pants?
It is your parental responsibility to allow children's independence to develop so that it does not threaten the life and health of the baby. And the intactness of your home.
You will also be interested to read:
- how to survive a crisis of 7 years in a child
- how the crisis of the first year of life manifests itself
- how to encourage and maintain curiosity in children
