Mom and Dad... They gave us life, they did not sleep at night when we were sick, they tried to buy the best for us. They spent their health, nerves, strength, they spent all their money, if only their children had everything they want. But, as soon as parents grow old, they immediately fade into the background, and after all, life without them was generally impossible to imagine!
Unfortunately, this is true. Not a single person is ready to take and stop living in the usual rhythm, and begin to endure stupidity, senile insanity and other antics of an elderly person. Of course, there are such holy people who sacrifice their work, family happiness, years of life in order to be next to their old people. However, even in this case, we can say with confidence that they, too, are in constant anxiety and irritation from all this.
What to do? After all, it’s awful when you suddenly realize that you are beginning to be annoyed by the woman who gave you life. Here it is worth understanding one truth - your relationship with your family old people will definitely not get better. And time will pass, and the old people themselves will also disappear. You may not even remember about the former ease and simplicity in your relationship!
You need to find strength in yourself, and learn to understand your elderly parents. Find compassion, patience, and allow your old people to be exactly what they want to be. You need to respect their decision, do not argue, listen to their stories, even if they seem silly to you. React calmly to their strange ideas and fulfill their stupid demands. There is no sense to argue with the old man at all, it is better to agree with everything.
Parents have always worried about you, and in old age they worry even more. They are afraid that they cannot help you in any way. They are afraid of divorce, dismissal, family quarrels, illness. As soon as they hear from you that something has happened, they begin to feel humiliated and helpless. After all, they cannot help you. They suddenly realize that they are somewhat distant, powerless, weak, inadequate ...
Your old people annoy you, because before you shared your problems with them, they gave advice and helped with deeds, but now they cannot. They annoy you because they are talking nonsense, doing funny things, forgetting about meetings, and so on. But these are your own people, and you must find the strength to accept their old age. Become more indulgent towards them!
Your elderly parents ask you about your business, simply because they are afraid to find out that everything is bad with you. They still want to help you with something, they just have the wrong position. They are now powerless.
Therefore, be silent if everything is bad with you. Tell your parents only good things. It is better to protect them from the cruel realities, it is better to let them hear the pleasant truth from you! After such conversations, they will be able to escape from physical pain and worries. This is how a grateful child behaves - he talks to his parents.
Your old people do not need: a coffee maker, a new washing machine, an iron, dinner sets. All this does not give them any joy. They don't need expensive accessories or overseas goodies. They do not need you to give them money by transferring it to an account, instead of coming. They need human warmth, they want to talk to you, and hear that everything is fine with you. This is what gives them strength, tranquility and peace.
Therefore, if you want to give something to your own old people, give them your free time. Old age is contagious. Sooner or later, we will all begin to suffer from this ailment. And you know, we have already begun to get sick, it's just that our stage is still very early, and our parents are late. Try to find yourself in your old people, because you too will be the same weak, stupid, strange... Scary? But you can understand them more easily!
Have you heard of the boomerang? So here he works. When you communicate with your parents, you communicate with yourself. You equally share pleasant emotions and love. And how much you now give love and attention to your elderly parents, so much you will receive it in 20, 30 years.
In old age, a person's need for joy increases. But due to the fact that old people can no longer build happiness themselves, they look at their heirs with such hope. Children are happiness accumulators. And everyone gets tired of it, but there is no choice! No one except you can make your old people happy. Learn not to be offended by your parents, throw away all that garbage that has accumulated in your head.
Start your relationship with your parents from scratch today. What for? It just might turn out that tomorrow will be too late!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/pochemu-nas-tak-razdrazhajut-sobstvennye-stariki-i-kak-eto-ispravit.html
